Archive for August, 2007

Just this morning I was at my favorite breakfast spot when a person asked me if I had surfed today. Oh man how I would’ve loved to have said “totally dude”. But instead I had to practice what the yogis call “satya” and not bullshit this guy.

No I don’t surf. I might look outdoorsy with my beard and hairy chest. But I’m not much good when it comes to mountains, machines, or maintenance.

Here are a few examples of my ineptitude:

CAMPING
The last time I was in a tent was the one my stepdad pitched in the office for his 4 year old grandson.

GIVING A JUMP
My greatest mechanical accomplishment was giving someone’s battery a jump. But first I had to put on the electrical gloves and face shield I bought with the jump cables issued at Stephen S. Weiss temple.

DIVING
My biggest dive was off the “diving rock” at our pool of my boyhood home in Encino. My parents switched out the diving board with a diving rock for safety purposes. I didn’t accummulate any popularity points from this transition. Imagine, “Do you guys want to come over and jump off my diving rock?”

OCEAN
My ocean experiences consisted mainly of boogie boarding. The cool kids told me shorebreak boogie boarding is where its at! The rockier the better! ” This was an impetus for my spiritual growth because I showed up with boogie board and knee pads but nobody else was there. So I learned to make peace with being alone.

LOCKING A BIKE
Last weekend I was out front of Starbucks trying to lock my bike to a bus stop bench. After 2 minutes elapsed and I couldn’t figure out how to fit the lock thru the bike and bench, I became insecure. There must have been 20 people out front of Starbucks who slowly lowered their newspapers and faded out of their conversations to watch my struggle. Finally a lady said “I can just watch it for you while you go inside”

I felt humiliated. No, I’m not good with machines, mountains, nor maintenance. But what triggered this Schtick is when I saw a video of the craziest thing ever.

Maybe you’ve heard of thrillseeker Dan Osman who climbed Lover’s Leap, a popular rock in Yosemite. This is considered a 3 hour climb which is extremely difficult and requires safety ropes. Osman did a free solo climb with no rope and no help in just 4 minutes and 25 seconds. There’s one point where he has to jump in the air to grab the rock. Remember he has nothing to protect him. If he misses the rock, he’s finished.

I remember watching and thinking I know nobody like Dan Osman. The only thing I do know is what Don Osman is NOT. He did NOT have a diving rock in his backyard. He did NOT have a hard time locking his bike to a pole. He was NOT someone I know from Stephen S. Weiss Temple.

There’s something to be learned here. If Osman is willing to go balls to the wall up crazy mountains without safety mechanisms, I can play sports without a cup, make love without nasal strips, and dunk on 5 year olds playing nerf basketball. As Abe Lincoln said, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

Check out Osman’s record-breaking climb:

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