“The loneliness you get by the sea is personal and alive. It doesn’t subdue you and make you feel abject. It’s stimulating loneliness.” -Anne Lindbergh

We are bombarded by so many advertisements, phone calls and emails every day. In the maelstrom of stimulation, we are often left confused about what’s up or down, true or false, funny or serious, inspiring or depressing. The NY Times has been running an advertisement that promotes Israel and features a cowboy named Ferstman Avshalon.  I’d think Israel would promote itself thru its rich history, sacred tradition, or warm Mediterranean beaches. But cowboys?  I guess they are saying that Israel can provoke what Anne Lindbergh called an “alive loneliness?”  I’m confused. Maybe there are cowboys in Israel but given that I am Jewish, I can tell you that I ain’t never known no Jewish cowboy. I can only imagine such a cowboy would tend to kvetch and complain a bit more than a John Wayne-type out on the range. I envision a Jewish cowboy to have a horse named Bucky and these are the things you’d most likely hear as he galloped and kibbutzed across the plains:

Number 7:  “Oy! More hills?”

Number 6:  “This sun is making me splotchy.”

Number 5:  “Ay yai yai these chaps are itchy.”

Number 4:   “Bucky slow down my hips are achy!”

Number 3:    “Giddy-yuck! Bucky you smell hah-rrible.”

Number 2:     “This beef jerky is making me gasey.”

And the Number 1 thing you’d most likely hear from a Jewish cowboy:

“Bucky can’t you say something? I’ve got schpilcus.”
(translation: “Cowboying is boring.”)

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