CHAKRA–A sanskrit word meaning “wheel” or “circle”; usually refers to the centers or points of spiritual power that resides in or compose the human astral body.

On yesterday’s local news, Johnny Chakra was arrested on charges of possession of crack cocaine and 175 lbs of low grade marijuana known as “dirt” (street value $15). Often called “Chalk-ra,” he had fought lawsuits for years after declaring that he “invented the chakras” in 1983 while staring thru a kaleidoscope on a hot July day in the Sonoran desert. The International Yoga Union has been fighting Chakra saying his claim is ludicrous and, and he is blantantly claiming what the yogis have known for thousands of years. Bankrupted by lawyers and disheartened by constant accusation, Chakra has been struggling to continue offering his vigorous Chakra Shaker massage made infamous in his infomercial. Embraced by celebrities including David Hasselfhoff, Chakra has earned millions by selling his Chakra Shaker oils he calls “lube” primarily to countries in the former Eastern bloc including Albania, Romania, Hungary, Arkansas, and Kentucky.

From the American border town of Doyouwannatouchit, Arizona, Chakra is supported by wife-cousin Jane who Chakra refers to as his “wifecuz.” Jane argues that Chakra is actually her husband and brother but not a cousin and calls him her “manbro.” Said Jane, “These dumb yoger persons are sayin’ all this bullcrap and I’m tellin’ you they don’t know jack. They ain’t never paid us no attention with that Yoger Jirnal so why should they care now?”

Chakra is represented by heavy hitting lawyer Evan Abramowitz who said, “if anything, this will make the yoga influencers and yoga publications recognize that if they don’t embrace the Eastern bloc, the Eastern bloc will take yoga and do what it wants.” Similar lawsuits have been filed against a Sally Sutra of Lickit, Albania; a Moe La’Bunda of Horni’and, Hungary; and a Harry Assana of Smele-Rmpit, Arkansas. All have followed in Johnny Chakras footsteps with wildly successful informercial-generating hoopla for their products such as the “Moo La’Bunda gerbil stick,” the “Sutra Syrup,” and the “Harry Assana Razor.”

Chakra will be arraigned next Thursday. (See above portrait of Johnny and Jane Chakra)

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If the villain that is Johnny Chakra strikes fear in your heart, breathe easy.  I am excited to announce that Yoga + Country Music will be going big time on a 2008 Fall Tour thru country music capitols and beyond. Country performer Cynthia Ford will be joining me for the live music and flowing yoga combination that seeks to peacefully marry cold beer, sweaty yoga, and ancient philosophy into 2 hours of good times and great tunes. Look for tour dates later this year and consider becoming an official sponsor with a passion to further yogic wisdom to the untapped corners of the US of A.

Click here to read more on Yoga + Country Music.

Last weekend’s retreat to Sedona, Arizona was fantastic. Taking place at Mii Amo which was rated by Travel and Leisure Magazine as the world’s #1 Destination Spa, the setting was surreal, the food and wine was sensational, and the yoga teacher was decent. If you are looking to spend an inspiring weekend in an idyllic setting, the next retreat is set for Vail in January. Read on: