“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” Sandra Carey
I heard a knock on my door expecting a FedEx package or maybe a neighbor complaining again about my keeping the shades up while roaming my house nude. But thru the peephole I saw a man and a woman. The man had neatly parted hair, a firmly pressed short sleeve button down shirt, and a pen protector on his pocket. His smile revealed neatly capped, fake white teeth. The woman wore a bun in her hair and had a face that was disproportionately long compared to the rest of her body. Her face was caked in makeup and her left cheek revealed a mole with 1 pubic-type hair extending outward 7 millimeters in length (or so I thought.)
They both held in their hands a book and as I opened the door, I expected some kind and sweet religious recruiters offering me a ticket to heaven. I invited them inside for some Kool Aid. But something was a bit strange. It felt as if they’d just escaped from somewhere and although liberated in an odd way, they made me feel nervous.
They introduced themselves as William and Tracie. I sat down expecting to be handed a sacred text but instead they handed me a book. The Dirty Secret.
“Sir do you know The Dirty Secret?” was William’s first question.
It felt like a TV commercial.
“You mean like The Secret? The bestselling book?” I inquired.
William continued, “No that’s The Secret. This is called The Dirty Secret. We’re here today to speak with you about change. People are being swept up into a frenzy of positivity. Let me elaborate. I see on your wrist a Swatch watch.”
I sadly answered, “Yes, it’s a heirloom from a friend who passed away.”
“Sir, it’s a relic. And it’s an example of your having less and we want to show you how you can have more.”
The woman, Tracie, hit the man pretty hard in his side as if to correct him. She said under her breath to him, “You said ‘less.’ There was a better way of saying that without having to say something negative.”
William was perturbed and in a barely less than abusive tone firmly responded to under his breath, “Just shut up ok. Let me do this. Just shut up.”
He turned back to me, took a deep breath, and continued, “I do apologize. Part of The Dirty Secret philosophy is to speak only in the positive. The universe doesn’t understand ‘no.’ The universe only speaks in the language of abundance.”
Tracie again turned to him, “You did it again. You said ‘the universe doesn’t understand no.’ You should have said ‘the universe only understands yes.”
William firmly responded to Tracie, “Why do you have to do this in public? Friggen leave me the frick alone!”
William turned back to me, “What I was trying to say is that you can have a Rolex, you can have a Porsche, you can have a 100 inch plasma TV so long as you believe.”
“Believe what?” I asked.
The man whispered mysteriously, “The Dirty Secret.”
Tracie continued, “It’s about positive thought and the power of positive thought to affect your life.”
I was intrigued but confused and inquired, “But what’s wrong with my Swatch?”
Tracie continued “Your Swatch is fine, but all that stands between you and a Rolex is __”
I enthusiastically chimed in, “The Dirty Secret.”
Tracie and William proceeded to hand me a catalog with fine jewels, electronic goods, and other material pleasures. I immediately bought the Rolex I’ve always dreamed of in addition to a plasma TV. I paid on credit card but Tracie and William promised me that so long as I was positive, I’d pay off my debt in no time.
***
So I am here to tell you how you, like me, can become a part of The Dirty Secret Team. Here’s how it works. For everything I purchase from The Dirty Secret catalog, William and Tracie are paid 10% of the purchase. They are getting rich off me and everyone else and they barely have to work. I know what you must be thinking. Wow!
Since I’ve become a part of The Dirty Secret team, I’ve convinced over 74 people that they too can manifest their greatest desires thru the power of positivity and something called “a credit card.” For every purchase made by one of my 74 converts, I get 10% and William and Tracie get 5%. Everyone is getting rich off everyone else. And it’s all about being positive.
In just 3 months I’ve been able to convince so many people I know and love that they can be my friends but also my source of income which works both for me; and for me. I know what you must be thinking. Wow!
And all you have to do is forward on your credit card, social security number, mother’s maiden name, home address, and banking password and we’ll get you signed up in no time at all. Not only will you become a part of The Dirty Secret team, we will send you a free tote bag with all your personal information (credit card number, etc) printed on the outside of the bag so that when you need it, it’ll be impossible to forget. And if you are too dense to find it, ask anyone on the street and they can help you out by just looking on the outside of the bag. It’s that easy!!
In the meantime, think clearly, very clearly which Rolex you desire. See it, wish it, feel it, and it is yours! All thanks to The Dirty Secret!
I know what you must be thinking. WOW!
