The Schtick (Cheesy Pick-ups)
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“Is there a ninja in your pants? Cause your ass is kickin!” -Super Cheeseball
In 9th Grade, I decided to start lifting weights. The idea being that if I could cultivate some biceps, maybe it would balance out the zits on my face and enhance my appeal to the opposite sex. So I joined the Nautilus Plus gym in the Town & Country mall in Encino, California. Not bothering to get a trainer, I’d show up and do curls with the barbells. That’s all I’d do. Just curls. Oh yeah, I’d also stare at the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen, Andrea Sarrity, a lovely blond in 10th Grade at Birmingham High School in Tarzana.
I’d go to the gym almost everyday and do curls while staring at Andrea on the stationary bike, Andrea on the nautilus machine, Andrea talking to the trainer, Andrea getting a drink of water, Andrea in aerobics, Andrea doing sit-ups, Andrea laughing, Andrea breathing.
My mom, with her thick New York accent, would drive me to Nautilus Plus and ask, “Don’t you think working out everyday is a little much?”
“I know but look at this mom,” and I’d flex my biceps.
“Maybe you should try for a little balance. Your dad said he’d pay for a trainer. You can’t just have big biceps. It looks stupid.”
“Big guns are where it’s at,” I’d say and again flex and stare at my emerging muscles. “The ladies love big guns.”
“What ladies? Do you have a girlfriend?”
God I hated that question.
“Do you? Is there a special lady in your life?”
I’d slam the door and walk into the gym while feeling the ever-firmer tone of my biceps. Flashing my membership card on one particular afternoon in March of 1988, I saw something that I’ll never, ever forget. Andrea Sarrity was alone on the stationary bike. There were 2 rows of 20 bikes and each and every single bike was available except for the one with Andrea.
Oh my God, I thought. Could I actually talk to her? There she was with her perfect tan, long blond hair, and a body as curvy as a race track. And here I was, freckle on the lip, braces on the grill, too much hairspray in the dew, zits spread like chocolate chips around my mug, chicken legs, and big biceps.
I don’t know how I did it but moments like this make me believe in God. Each step I took toward that stationary bike felt like I had 10 pounds of weight in my shoes. Mind you, there were 39 bikes available and I chose the one tucked into the far corner right next to her. Can you spell a-w-k-w-a-r-d?
I can only imagine Andrea’s inner dialogue, “I wonder if Billy likes me, what am I gonna wear to prom, I’m so hot who doesn’t want me, these tights are uncomfortable, who’s this dork that just sat down next to me?!”
I started peddling on the stationary bike while watching the time. 3 minutes elapsed. I promised myself I’d say something at 3:30. But I couldn’t spit out a sentence. 4:00 elapsed. I promised I’d say something at 4:30. But I was at a loss for words. Finally, 5:00 after the extreme weirdness of sitting on the bike right next to Andrea, I spit out, “Y’know why he’s called Magic Johnson, right?”
I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Um, not really sure. Cause he’s good at basketball?” she hesitantly answered.
“Well that, but also cause, his ah, johnson, is magic.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, smirking.
“I read it in Mad Magazine.”
It was Revenge of the Nerds at Nautilus Plus.
Andrea was so sweet, I couldn’t believe it. “That’s funny, what’s your name?” she said enthusiastically.
And we chit-chatted for what must have been 20 minutes. She gave me her number before leaving to go home. To make a long story short, we had some fantastic phone conversations until she suddenly stopped talking to me a few months later. It turns out one of my friends sold me down the river and told Andrea all about my crush. But I was forever transformed. To this day, I think Andrea actually reciprocated my crush because after all, I was one of the few guys who even dared talk to her, such was the intimidating power of her beauty.
And I now realize, you never know unless you try. Soren Kierkegaard said, “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” Whether it’s daring to speak to the effervescent beauty queen or to ask your daunting boss for the raise or to stand up to the annoying co-worker who drives you insane, everything is possible in a world of action.
My dad always says, “Shots on goal.” So I’ll keep shooting, daring, trying. Not to call Andrea, but to encourage you to read my book, to come to my yoga class, to vote in the upcoming election, to laugh at my jokes, to open your heart, to believe in Something greater. Because it’s too easy to languish on the couch watching the world drown and the economy falter. Step outside of your home, your fears, your comfort zone; and give life a chance. “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” (Howard Thurman)
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Livin’ the Moment: 8-20-08
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Looks like Tae-bo, feels like pilates, resembles yoga, and reminds you of karate: YOG-AEROBA-LATE-TATE. For a few weeks in my life, I had the pleasure, and the pain, of training with the founder of Yog-aeroba-late-tate, Sergeant Simmons. Sporting orange Oakley blades and tapered Jordache jeans, Simmons taught me how to sweat, climb, and smoke (cigarettes) my way to a new kind of fitness. I learned that to be truly fit, one must not only be lean in the ways of the body, but also lean in the ways of the ego. I call it Spiritual Fitness and it’s a chapter in my book, Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment which will be released on March 10, 2009 from Broadway Books.
I’d like to invite those of you who are supporters of my heartfelt if not adolescent perspective of spirituality, wellness and self-help to join my official BOOK CLUB. All you must do is write an email to YEAHDAVE@YEAHDAVEYOGA.COM and in the subject write, “I’m in!” Then you will receive exclusive invitations to view video webisodes based on chapters in the book, special parties, and sneak previews of excerpts from the book.
In the meantime, I’d love for you to join me at upcoming weekend workshops I’ll be teaching in:
August 29-31 at Healing Power Yoga in Highland Park, IL
December 4-7 at Mii Amo in Sedona, AZ
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| The Wine from Yoga + Wine |
If you’ve taken my Yoga + Wine workshop, you might remember the wonderful wines indigenous to Sicily: Feudo Arancio. We indulged in the refreshing delight of the Grillo (white) and the full-bodied warmth of the Nero d’Avola (red). The wines are unique, reasonable, and waiting to be served at your next party. For more info, click here.
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| Yogichocolate.com |
If you ever get to that place where you are fed up with your yoga and ready for a new voice, a new class, or a new style, check out YogiChocolate.com. It was started by my friend Sara LaVere and her husband and it offers downloadable audio and video yoga classes by donation from teachers around the world, including me.
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| Video of the Week |
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With the power of the Olympics in full force, I found something even better.
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| New York, New York, Neeeeew York |
I cannot wait to return to NYC for a Livin’ the Moment weekend September 25-28. Taking place at Exhale’s Central Park South location, I will share new evolutions of Yoga + Chocolate, Yoga + Wine, and The Chocolate Chakra Tour. I will be donating a portion of the profits from this event to Marble Jam Kids which is a charitable organization focusing on art, music, and creative movement therapies for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. To sign up, please call Exhale Central Park South at 212.249.3000.
Here’s the info:
Yoga + Wine with David Romanelli Location: Central Park South
Dates: Friday 9/26/2008
Time: 7:30 PM - 9:00 PM
Cost: $45
The history of wine cultivation in Sicily goes back at least 6,000 years. For Sicilians, wine has always been more than just a beverage. In the Mediterranean world, wine carries a spiritual significance. In this vinyasa yoga workshop, David will explore how a glass of wine is the gateway to a deeper sense of life and a deeper look at youthfulness, not as wrinkled skin but as a vibrant spirit. This workshop will show you how to model the aging process after one of the few things that ages well…a bottle of wine. David will explore how some people that are old seem really young; while some people that are young seem really old. At the end of class, you will taste Sicilian varietals such as Grillo and Nero d’Avola. You’ll finish realizing that like a great wine, a human can age with boldness, character and grace. Wine tasting is after class, not before. Price of admission is for the yoga workshop only. The after class wine tasting is free of charge. Wine-tasting is only open to people 21 years or older.
Yoga + Chocolate with David Romanelli Location: Central Park South
Dates: Saturday 9/27/2008
Time: 2:45 PM - 4:45 PM
Cost: $45
This is the next evolution of David’s acclaimed Yoga + Chocolate experience . Every human struggles with what the Bhagavad Gita calls the 3 human weaknesses: lust, anger, and greed. In order to stay true to self and purpose, one must build immunity to the seductions of life (emotional outbursts that endanger others, lust-driven affairs that hurt loved ones, and making poor decisions for money rather than for love). We are most vulnerable to those weaknesses when mind, body and spirit are out of sync. There’s no better way to re-synchronize then thru peak sensory experiences like delicious chocolate, rockin’ music, and soothing yoga. . At the end of David’s flowing vinyasa yoga class, you will be in a deeply relaxed, totally present state of mind, David will show you how a Vosges chocolate truffle wets the palette, engages the mind, and evokes the spirit. You’ll finish realizing that “nothing can cure the soul but the senses just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.” (Oscar Wilde) NOTE: THIS WORKSHOP INCLUDES 2 CHOCOLATE TREATS FROM VOSGES HAUT CHOCOLATE
Chocolate Chakra Tour with David Romanelli Location: Central Park South
Dates: Sunday 9/28/2008
Time: 2:45 PM - 4:45 PM
Cost: $55
Chocolate Chakra Tour: In the ancient Eastern cultures, healing is as much an art as a science. In this very relaxing Deep Stretch yoga experience, David will explain the chakra system which teaches how to inspire the soul in order to heal the body. It’s very valuable information that sometimes is a bit hard to swallow; but not if it’s covered in chocolate. For each chakra, you will experience a fun story, a relaxing yoga pose, a specially selected song from just the right genre of music, and a carefully chosen exotic Vosges Chocolate truffle. A sneak preview: You will learn how the sparkling guitar of the late Jerry Garcia is the ultimate sound to soothe the heart chakra while the spicy Red Fire Vosges chocolate truffle offers a powerful connection to the root chakra. This workshop is based on The Yoga + Chocolate Chakra Box which David co-created with Katrina Markoff, founder of Vosges Haut-Chocolat.
Please note: you will sample 7 exotic chocolate truffle so come hungry with an insatiable desire for the world’s best chocolate
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| Ready for A Life-Changing Adventure? |
If you are planning ahead and want to mark on your calendar a YOGA RETREAT to paradise, join me for a weekend of Livin’ the Moment in Sedona, Arizona. We’ll be staying at the place that Travel & Leisure Magazine rated the #1 ranked destination spa in the world: Mii Amo. My daily classes will be a luxurious tour thru the uncharted terrain in your body and soul. This winter retreat to desert paradise takes place December 4-7. There are only 12 rooms in all of Mii Amo so I urge you to plan ahead and tee up this weekend of perfection.
Here are my brand new class descriptions which I’m so excited to debut in December:
Yoga + Wine: Power of Terroir
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” Lao Tzu
The word “terroir” is commonly used by wine aficionados to describe the grapes’ oneness to the soil in which they are grown. When a human being sustains a relationship with the soil, sky, and sea, she too has a oneness with nature. Your own terroir might be evident as the dirt in your toenails from playing in the backyard; or your messy hair blown by the howling wind; or the scratch on your arm from the shrub disguising your dog’s missing tennis ball. The bottom line: dirt is good. There’s something sexy about one returning from the outdoors.
In a world where nature’s beauty is severely endangered by the increasingly vulnerable environment, it’s more important than ever before to venture into the wild. In this workshop co-created by Angela Gargano of Bliss Flow Yoga, I will share yoga’s ability to root you into the earth, into the surrounding desert landscape, into your muscles, joints, body, and soul. After class, I will lead you through a tasting of wines known for their terroir which varies from Australia to France, and Sonoma to South Africa. Natalie Goldberg said, “Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.”
Yoga + Chocolate: Funny, Beautiful, Delicious
“I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn’t know, I held opportunity.”. Hazel Lee
In a new evolution of his Yoga + Chocolate experience co-created by Katrina Markoff of Vosges Haut-Chocolat, I will focuses on how to mark your moments. Mark your moments with couture hot cocoa, mark them will sidesplitting laughter, mark them with Passito dessert wine. But don’t forget to mark them, because anything not captured by a moment is swept up and away, forever lost to the passing of time.
In this workshop, I will emphasize funny, beautiful, and delicious moments as those we remember best. Woven into flowing vinyasa yoga, I will feature tastings of new creations from Vosges chocolate, fun stories and readings from my book reminding you of the healing power of a good, hard laugh, and the beauty and power of soothing scents and delicious Savasanas.
Spiritual Picnic
“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.” Cesar Pavese
Along with Pollyanna Forster, creator of Dish Restaurant in Vail, Colorado, David has created the Spiritual Picnic. This workshop will finish with a tasting of specially selected exotic cheeses and olives from far-reaching corners of the globe. The idea being, “delicious” tastes of pleasure satisfy not only the palette, but also the spirit.
Being that this retreat takes place in the heart of Fall, this workshop’s message and music will focus on this beautiful time of year. Fall is about shedding skin that no longer serves you. Whether it’s shedding an old perspective, a bad habit, an unhealthy friendship, or some long standing fear, there’s no better time of year to let go and lighten the load. One who is trim in the ways of ego has a richer sense of truth and feels nourished in the depths of their being.
Click here for more info on my retreat to Mii Amo
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