“Is there a ninja in your pants? Cause your ass is kickin!” -Super Cheeseball

In 9th Grade, I decided to start lifting weights. The idea being that if I could cultivate some biceps, maybe it would balance out the zits on my face and enhance my appeal to the opposite sex. So I joined the Nautilus Plus gym in the Town & Country mall in Encino, California. Not bothering to get a trainer, I’d show up and do curls with the barbells. That’s all I’d do. Just curls. Oh yeah, I’d also stare at the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen, Andrea Sarrity, a lovely blond in 10th Grade at Birmingham High School in Tarzana.

I’d go to the gym almost everyday and do curls while staring at Andrea on the stationary bike, Andrea on the nautilus machine, Andrea talking to the trainer, Andrea getting a drink of water, Andrea in aerobics, Andrea doing sit-ups, Andrea laughing, Andrea breathing.

My mom, with her thick New York accent, would drive me to Nautilus Plus and ask, “Don’t you think working out everyday is a little much?”

“I know but look at this mom,” and I’d flex my biceps.

“Maybe you should try for a little balance. Your dad said he’d pay for a trainer. You can’t just have big biceps. It looks stupid.”

“Big guns are where it’s at,” I’d say and again flex and stare at my emerging muscles. “The ladies love big guns.”

“What ladies? Do you have a girlfriend?”

God I hated that question.

“Do you? Is there a special lady in your life?”

I’d slam the door and walk into the gym while feeling the ever-firmer tone of my biceps. Flashing my membership card on one particular afternoon in March of 1988, I saw something that I’ll never, ever forget. Andrea Sarrity was alone on the stationary bike. There were 2 rows of 20 bikes and each and every single bike was available except for the one with Andrea.

Oh my God, I thought. Could I actually talk to her? There she was with her perfect tan, long blond hair, and a body as curvy as a race track. And here I was, freckle on the lip, braces on the grill, too much hairspray in the dew, zits spread like chocolate chips around my mug, chicken legs, and big biceps.

I don’t know how I did it but moments like this make me believe in God. Each step I took toward that stationary bike felt like I had 10 pounds of weight in my shoes. Mind you, there were 39 bikes available and I chose the one tucked into the far corner right next to her. Can you spell a-w-k-w-a-r-d?

I can only imagine Andrea’s inner dialogue, “I wonder if Billy likes me, what am I gonna wear to prom, I’m so hot who doesn’t want me, these tights are uncomfortable, who’s this dork that just sat down next to me?!”

I started peddling on the stationary bike while watching the time. 3 minutes elapsed. I promised myself I’d say something at 3:30. But I couldn’t spit out a sentence. 4:00 elapsed. I promised I’d say something at 4:30. But I was at a loss for words. Finally, 5:00 after the extreme weirdness of sitting on the bike right next to Andrea, I spit out, “Y’know why he’s called Magic Johnson, right?”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Um, not really sure. Cause he’s good at basketball?” she hesitantly answered.

“Well that, but also cause, his ah, johnson, is magic.”

“How do you know that?” she asked, smirking.

“I read it in Mad Magazine.”

It was Revenge of the Nerds at Nautilus Plus.

Andrea was so sweet, I couldn’t believe it. “That’s funny, what’s your name?” she said enthusiastically.

And we chit-chatted for what must have been 20 minutes. She gave me her number before leaving to go home. To make a long story short, we had some fantastic phone conversations until she suddenly stopped talking to me a few months later. It turns out one of my friends sold me down the river and told Andrea all about my crush. But I was forever transformed. To this day, I think Andrea actually reciprocated my crush because after all, I was one of the few guys who even dared talk to her, such was the intimidating power of her beauty.

And I now realize, you never know unless you try. Soren Kierkegaard said, “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily.  To not dare is to lose oneself.”  Whether it’s daring to speak to the effervescent beauty queen or to ask your daunting boss for the raise or to stand up to the annoying co-worker who drives you insane, everything is possible in a world of action.

My dad always says, “Shots on goal.”  So I’ll keep shooting, daring, trying. Not to call Andrea, but to encourage you to read my book, to come to my yoga class, to vote in the upcoming election, to laugh at my jokes, to open your heart, to believe in Something greater. Because it’s too easy to languish on the couch watching the world drown and the economy falter. Step outside of your home, your fears, your comfort zone; and give life a chance. “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” (Howard Thurman)

If you are planning ahead and want to mark on your calendar a YOGA RETREAT to paradise, join me for a weekend of Livin’ the Moment in Sedona, Arizona. We’ll be staying at the place that Travel & Leisure Magazine rated the #1 ranked destination spa in the world:  Mii Amo. My daily classes will be a luxurious tour thru the uncharted terrain in your body and soul. This winter retreat to desert paradise takes place December 4-7. There are only 12 rooms in all of Mii Amo so I urge you to plan ahead and tee up this weekend of perfection.

Here are my brand new class descriptions which I’m so excited to debut in December:

Yoga + Wine:  Power of Terroir

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” Lao Tzu

The word “terroir” is commonly used by wine aficionados to describe the grapes’ oneness to the soil in which they are grown. When a human being sustains a relationship with the soil, sky, and sea, she too has a oneness with nature. Your own terroir might be evident as the dirt in your toenails from playing in the backyard; or your messy hair blown by the howling wind; or the scratch on your arm from the shrub disguising your dog’s missing tennis ball.  The bottom line: dirt is good. There’s something sexy about one returning from the outdoors.

In a world where nature’s beauty is severely endangered by the increasingly vulnerable environment, it’s more important than ever before to venture into the wild. In this workshop co-created by Angela Gargano of Bliss Flow Yoga, I will share yoga’s ability to root you into the earth, into the surrounding desert landscape, into your muscles, joints, body, and soul. After class, I will lead you through a tasting of wines known for their terroir which varies from Australia to France, and Sonoma to South Africa. Natalie Goldberg said, “Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.”

Yoga + Chocolate:  Funny, Beautiful, Delicious

“I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn’t know, I held opportunity.”. Hazel Lee

In a new evolution of his Yoga + Chocolate experience co-created by Katrina Markoff of Vosges Haut-Chocolat, I will focuses on how to mark your moments. Mark your moments with couture hot cocoa, mark them will sidesplitting laughter, mark them with Passito dessert wine. But don’t forget to mark them, because anything not captured by a moment is swept up and away, forever lost to the passing of time.

In this workshop, I will emphasize funny, beautiful, and delicious moments as those we remember best. Woven into flowing vinyasa yoga, I will feature tastings of new creations from Vosges chocolate, fun stories and readings from my book reminding you of the healing power of a good, hard laugh, and the beauty and power of soothing scents and delicious Savasanas.

Spiritual Picnic

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.” Cesar Pavese

Along with Pollyanna Forster, creator of Dish Restaurant in Vail, Colorado, David has created the Spiritual Picnic. This workshop will finish with a tasting of specially selected exotic cheeses and olives from far-reaching corners of the globe. The idea being,  “delicious” tastes of pleasure satisfy not only the palette, but also the spirit.

Being that this retreat takes place in the heart of Fall, this workshop’s message and music will focus on this beautiful time of year. Fall is about shedding skin that no longer serves you.  Whether it’s shedding an old perspective, a bad habit, an unhealthy friendship, or some long standing fear, there’s no better time of year to let go and lighten the load. One who is trim in the ways of ego has a richer sense of truth and feels nourished in the depths of their being.

Click here for more info on my retreat to Mii Amo