“Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation!” -Anonymous

I was recently in Philadelphia for a yoga workshop. Looking for my morning coffee, I ventured out of the hotel and into a rather “tough” street. There was no Starbucks but I did see “Mike’s Coffee” and wandered inside. My “Be Present” t-shirt layered on top of an Izod with the collar up (prep style) made me stand out like a sore thumb.

Enthusiastic and excited for my morning cup of Joe, I waited in line behind two rather smelly gentlemen with a plethora of tattoos on their arms, shoulders and necks. After a few slow minutes, I finally got to the front of the line.

As usual, I started my order with a “Yes!” because that’s how one well-versed in ordering coffee begins their order.

“Yes! I’ll please have a skinny, non-fat, triple shot, whipped, 3 pump vanilla latte with cinnamon sprinkles please!”

The muscular employee whom the others called Gino looked at me as if I was an idiot. I realized I forgot something and added, “Yes! Can you please put that over ice? Only 7 cubes please!”

In a thick Philly accent which made him sound similar to “Paulie” from the Rocky films, Gino shouted, “F_ck you! Get the F-ck outta my shop and take your ‘skinny’ f-cking latte and shove it up your ass!”

I scampered out of Mike’s Coffee quicker than a gerbil being chased by Richard Gere.  Little did I realize that not everyone spoke “Starbucks.” So I had to get a coffee from the grocery store which left me fiending a real cup of Joe all day long.

Yes! I am totally addicted to coffee. In fact, I’ve graduated beyond Starbucks and every morning I go to Peet’s coffee where I get my morning cup with 2 shots of espresso mixed in. My girlfriend wakes up to see me in my office mentally bouncing around like a rubber ball in a box. She opens the door, usually finds me in her face screaming at her “What do you think of this idea!” and proceeds to slam the door trapping me inside.

Yes! I love my morning caffeine high. I try to only have 1 coffee a day but there are 14 coffee shops on my street all of which are calling my name. So usually I’ll have a Café Mocha around midday and 2 espresso shots before my afternoon yoga class.  Come nighttime, my girlfriend complains that my pacing the house at 3:30am is not normal. I tell her that self-help guru Wayne Dyer says if you’re not up by 3:30am, you’re not really living; which transforms her into Gino from Philly when asked to make a skinny latte.

Yes! I’m hooked on coffee. I don’t pretend to be Zen yoga guy so I have nothing to hide by coming clean with my addiction.  And hey: at least it’s not something awful like polygamy or incest. It’s just caffeine for which there’s no true substitute. As one Bob Irwin said, “Drinking decaffeinated coffee is like kissing your sister.”

The bottom line is you can’t live forever. If you really love something and it’s not harmful to others, dare to love it with all your heart. All this crazy health and wellness info is meaningless to the guy whose life was suddenly swept away in a random accident. But you better believe that guy loved every sip of his morning cup of Joe!

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