“Nature is an infinite sphere of which the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere.” -Blaise Pascal
A tidal bore is a tidal phenomenon in which the leading edge of the incoming tide forms a wave (or waves) of water that travel up a river or narrow bay against the direction of the current. In other words, it’s a “surfable” wave taking place in an unexpected environment like the Amazon River. Bores occur in relatively few locations worldwide and are beloved to surfers known as “boreriders.” These tidal bores offer rides from 10-40 minutes in length.
But surfing in the Amazon River is perilous. It’s not the feared piranha to which I’m referring. Rather, there’s a very dangerous fish in the Amazon called candiru andiru or candirú (also canero or toothpick fish). They are eel-shaped and translucent, making them almost impossible to see in the water. Some species have been known to grow to a size of 6 inches

When a Candiru spots a fish, it darts towards the gill cavity and lodges itself in place with its spines. Then, with usually fatal consequences for its victim, the Candirú begins to gnaw a hole towards a major blood vessel and gorges itself for no more than a maximum of a few minutes. Ok no big deal. This doesn’t affect a human being.

If a hungry Candiru confuses a human being for a fish, it will climb into the uretha (penis-hole on a man, vagina on a woman). Once lodged in a person’s urethra, the parasite’s body will swell to a size often too large to allow itself to leave. The danger for the person lies more in the infection and shock that results from having the organism lodged there for an extended period of time than from physical damage done by the actual fish itself.

The reason I’m telling you this? I was fascinated to learn of this Candiru creature and nature’s unfathomable complexity, tranquility, and danger. But I don’t have any neat bow to tie around this message. Instead, I’ll tie it around my wiener. Because having a barbed creature stuck in there is nothing short of horrifying.

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