The Schtick (When Irish Parents Conceive a Latin Baby)

20
October

The Schtick (When Irish Parents Conceive a Latin Baby)

“Like a transparent jewel, the yogi reflects an unsullied purity.”
–Yoga Sutra 1.41

Upon seeing a baby, you can’t help but think, “Oh he looks so much like his dad” or “I see mama all over his cute little face.” But the other day I was walking down Montana Avenue with my friend Krey Zbitch. Krey and I bumped into our acquaintance Bobby O’Reilly.

One thing to note: both Bobby O’Reilly and his wife are red-heads.

Taking his new baby for a leisurely walk, Bobby O’Reilly stopped the stroller so that Krey and I could share the splendor of fatherhood. As Krey affectionately grazed the baby’s smooth cheeks with her hand, she started speaking to the baby in Spanish, “Mira la bebe tan bonito. Dios mio que mono eres tu?!”

“Why are you speaking to my baby in Spanish?” Bobby O’Reilly asked.

Krey ignored the question.

I took a closer look, soon realizing this baby was gorgeous, beautiful, and very Latin. Its olive skin and penetrating brown eyes were mesmerizing. Hmmm, I wondered.

“That’s so wonderful that you adopted, bless your heart,” Krey said.

“Adopted? What are you talking about?” Bobby O’Reilly uncomfortably asked.

Oh no. Once again, obnoxious Krey Zbitch was driving the wrong way down a very dangerous street, if you know what I mean.

I tried to change the subject, “Come back to yoga Bobby O’Reilly. It’s been a while since you’ve been in class.”

“What are you talking about ‘adopted’?!!” he firmly reiterated to Krey, ignoring me entirely.

“It’s just that your baby looks very exotic,” Krey answered.

I barely knew this dude Bobby O’Reilly but believe you me, he is very emotional. His face turned bright red and he started cussing under his breath.

Krey, in her own strange way, tried to calm him by saying, “Bobby O’Reilly relax. It’s just that you have red hair, and your wife has red hair, and the baby does not have red hair.”

Note: We’ve all had this experience where you see a baby that looks nothing like the parents. You can’t help but wonder if the baby was adoped or if, ah, there was a, ah, third party. ‘Third party’ is not a good thing to wonder.

Bobby O’Reilly lashed out, not at Krey, but at me, “Y’know what David?! You are a stupid yoga teacher! And you can take your yoga and the chocolate and wine you use in those weird ass workshops. And shove it all right up your ass!”

I was flabbergasted and responded under my breath, “But Bobby O’Reilly, I didn’t say anything.”

Bobby O’Reilly wheeled the stroller down Montana Avenue screaming at the top of his lungs like a crazy person.

*****

Krey Zbitch did it again. Another day, another offensive insult. Y’know what, it wasn’t just Krey. I was thinking the exact same thing. We had no business thinking that low down, dirty thought. And please, if you are frowning upon us right now, get off your high horse. We all sometimes entertain bad, negative thoughts. That’s something we can prevent.

Gandhi said, “I will not let anyone walk thru my mind with their dirty feet.” Like so many in the world right now, I’m shackled by the burdensome radio reports, water cooler anxiety, red-alert emails, and constant newscasts of economic doom. This dark and dusty state of mind caused me to ponder that maybe just maybe Bobby O’Reilly’s wife conceived not with Bobby, but rather with her Latin pilates instructor. Shame on me.

I can and will do better.

In these challenging months, your bank account might dip but your mind need NOT be dragged in tow. Now is the time to clean, tone, and clarify your thoughts. When the economy again begins to ascend, let your mind be waiting from a lofty place of faith, enthusiasm, and positivity. So long as you know how to position a sail, the fiercest winds yield the greatest power. A wise one said, “Strive to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To be too wise for worry, too tolerant for hate, and too courageous to be fearful. In short, to be happy.”

My Yoga Retreat in Sedona

I’d love for you to join me on a YOGA RETREAT to spa-lovers paradise. Taking place December 4-7, I’ll be leading an intimate journey to Sedona, Arizona. We’ll be staying at the place that Travel & Leisure Magazine rated the #1 ranked destination spa in the world: Mii Amo. My daily classes will be a luxurious tour thru the uncharted terrain in your body and soul. There are only 12 rooms in all of Mii Amo so I urge you to plan ahead and tee up this weekend of perfection.

All you do is register as a guest at Mii Amo. Checking in December 4. Checking out December 7. The yoga retreat is included for all Mii Amo guests

Click here for more info on my retreat to Mii Amo

Yogic Immunity to Financial Struggle

Spiritual author Robin Sharma speaks of 3 major shifts to induce in times of struggle. These shifts change a life-depleteing, resource sucking wind into a motivating, resource-producing gale. The shifts are:

1. FEAR to FAITH
Robin Sharma said, “For your life to be great, your faith must be bigger than your fears.” When you go to the beach and grab a clump of sand, if you squeeze too tight, the sand slips thru the gaps in your fingers. But if you loosen your grip, you contain the sand as you’d contain wealth, love, and happiness.

2. CONTROL SHIFTS TO CURIOSITY
Sometimes we get so caught up in a tight schedule and neat stacks and piles, that we forget to leave room for new experience, music, restaurants. As AA Milne said, “One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discovery.”

3. SURVIVING SHIFTS TO SERVING
“When you shift from a compulsion to survive toward a commitment to serve others, your life cannot help but explode into success.” (Robin Sharma) This is the most important. In anyway that you feel the energy of struggle, if you can convert that energy to helping others, all good will come.

I’d like to suggest one way to serve, especially if you wanna help a fellow yogini:

Hurricane Ike ripped through the Galveston and Houston areas on September 13 causing extensive damage. This hit particularly close to home as the founder of Yoga Rasa, Tracie Brace, endured a direct strike from Ike. The roof of her home was torn off, electricity is still out in some areas, and people are unaccounted for and feared dead in the neighboring town of Seabrook.

Given the trying times in the surrounding community, Tracie’s studio is struggling to stay afloat. Anybody out there who does yoga knows that there’s no better space for sanctuary, solace, strength, and community than your local yoga studio. For my upcoming workshop taking place in Houston on October 24-26, I will donate all proceeds to keeping the doors open at Yoga Rasa. If you care to make a donation whether it’s a financial donation or simply words of encouragement, feel free to write Tracie at: tracie@yogarasa.net.

And if you are interested in attending this workshop, I assure you it will be a deeply inspirational experience.

http://www.yogarasa.net/

Uncomfortable with Flatulence?

Let’s face it. Flatulence is real and happens to almost everyone. But it’s especially awkward when it happens in yoga class. People almost always think the silent but deadly ones were dealt by the teacher. And that’s especially embarrassing.

If you or someone you know thinks flatulence is funny, I have a whole chapter in my book dedicated to flatulence as a weapon, a tool, a lesson, and a symbol. There is much to be learned from your relationship with this all-too common and natural bodily reaction. One thing is certain, if you are offended or uncomfortable with flatulence, I explain in my book how that’s an early indicator of intolerance. Beware of intolerant people: a bad smell pales in comparison to a bad vibe.

Sound odd, irreverent, fun, and inspiring? That’s the intention behind my upcoming book, Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment, which will be released by Broadway Books on March 10, 2009.

In the meantime, I’d like to invite you to join my book club. All you have to do is send an email to yeahdave@yeahdaveyoga.com and write in the subject “I’m in!”

The Wine from Yoga + Wine

One of the greatest ways to go on a little mental vacation is an exotic glass of wine. If you’ve taken my Yoga + Wine workshop, you might remember the wonderful wines indigenous to Sicily: Feudo Arancio. We indulged in the refreshing delight of the Grillo (white) and the full-bodied warmth of the Nero d’Avola (red). The wines are unique, reasonable, and waiting to be served at your next party. For more info, click here.

Satisify your Soul with the Journey of a Lifetime

If you have had enough of the recent chaos and want to take a soul-satisfying, life-changing adventure to an ancient and exotic land, here is the ticket.

Redback Travels helps you step outside your comfort zone and into the fascinating world of one of the oldest and most dynamic cultures on earth. The experience of India is both rewarding, challenging, and utterly awe inspiring.

We are gearing up for our annual pilgrimage in February. This journey includes a visit to see the Dalai Lama who, as we all know, isn’t getting any younger. For more info an epic investment in a more spiritual life, check out:

www.redbacktravels.com

My Daily Yoga Schedule

I teach daily yoga classes at Exhale in Santa Monica and Venice, California.

Monday and Wednesday, 2:30pm, Exhale Venice (these classes are only $8)

For more info check out:

Exhale in Santa Monica and Venice, CA

Yeah Dave Yoga (around the world)