Archive for November, 2008
November
Cac and Titz
Posted by (0) Comment
Funny moment: 9/22/08 Brentwood, CA 6:57pm
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I had a friend in elementary school from Albania named Cac Arjana. As a young-in, I thought nothing of the name. But as we grew older, of course, the name Cac became ripe for trouble. Kids were mean and would say disgusting things to Cac. It hurt Cac’s feelings until much of the attention shifted to another girl who arrived at our school in 5th grade. She was a Russian immigrant named Titz Abramovich.
The teacher warned Titz’s parents, who barely spoke English, that their daughter’s name had “a certain troublesome meaning in English” but her parents insisted that she keep her name. Sure enough, the kids treated them both terribly saying things like, “All I know is this weekend I’m hangin with Cac and Titz” or “Cac don’t come in here!” or “Mom can I play with Titz after school?”
But believe it or not, Cac and Titz bonded in spite of the adversity. They were not just high school sweethearts, they were elementary school sweethearts. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
But a few days later, Cac and Titz called to ask my girlfriend and I to dinner. Surely they’d personally hand us an invitation. I felt so relieved.
We sat down at A Votre Sante bistro in Brentwood, ordered an appetizer, caught up, and then matter of factly, Titz began talking about her wedding ring which was a friggen rock.
“Jeez Cac, you must have spent like two or three hundred bucks on that thing,” I said.
There was an awkward silence.
“Just kidding,” I chuckled, but no one else found it funny.
Titz went on and on about the party planner, the band, the caterer, everything. Somebody was blowing a wad (of cash) on Titz. This was gonna be one hell of a celebration.
My girlfriend couldn’t take it any longer and blurted out, “This wedding sounds amazing. I gotta tell you, our invitation never came. It must have gotten lost in the mail.”
Cac hung low, his shoulders slumping. Titz sagged, as her eyes dropped to the ground.
“Dave, ah, well, we could only invite 350 people and you know how it goes. I couldn’t invite everyone. I still totally consider you a great friend but,” Cac sadly answered.
“But what?” I asked.
Titz jumped in, “Obviously we still want to be friends with you guys, that’s why we’re out to dinner right now. We love you guys.”
I retorted, “But Titz, after all we’ve been thru together. I fought for Cac and Cac stuck up for me. And God knows I’ll do anything for Titz. You know how much I care about you. I’m sorry but I’m really hurt.”
It was a painfully awkward moment. Cac and Titz said not a thing as my girlfriend and I sat there angry, confused, uninvited.
*****
It’s a founding principle of any strong spiritual foundation, made famous in The Four Agreements. “Don’t take things personally.” If you are sensitive (like me), it’s so easy to be hurt. In fact, if one really wanted to analyze all the ways she’s been hurt and wronged, she’d wage war on self, life, God. It’s an ugly, consuming battle triggered by allowing all the little things to cut deeper than they should. Eventually, a little gash becomes a bleeding wound.
The sacred yoga text the Katha Upanishads reads, “The sharp edge of a razor is difficult to pass over; thus the wise say the path to Salvation is hard.” It’s moments like the one with Cac and Titz, where you’re really hurt and want to lash out, that you are closest to the razor’s edge. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” *
In this stressful time, emotions are running high and hot. When money is scarce and worries are fierce, it’s easy to slash your soul on jagged words and cut your heart on sharp feelings. A truly strong spirit maintains the agility to move past life’s thorns before they puncture the proverbial skin.
Down the road, when we look back upon this period of economic strife, will you take comfort in knowing you handled it with grace and courage? Or will your feet be scarred by the razor’s edge?
*The Buddha
- Bookmark :
- Digg
- del.icio.us
- Stumbleupon
- Redit it
November
|
|||||||||||||||||
- Bookmark :
- Digg
- del.icio.us
- Stumbleupon
- Redit it
November
“I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” Everett Dirksen
Whether you voted for him or not, one could argue that Barack Obama is the most powerful social leader in a looong time. What’s so interesting is that he’s not a rock star or an evangelist or an athlete….but a President. In my lifetime (since 1973) the “President” has hardly been anything close to inspiring. Maybe charismatic or intelligent at a high point…and morally inept or evil at a low point. But a President who’s oration leads people to such a charged emotional state?! Millions of people look forward to Obama’s speeches like I looked forward to a Grateful Dead concert or an NBA Finals showdown.
And I fear that not long after Obama’s inauguration, it will all come crashing down…the inspiration, the lofty visions, the resonance. It won’t be long before some of Obama’s initiatives stall, before his critics pounce, before the media picks at his weaknesses. Two years from now, will anyone still hold him on the pedestal he will so proudly command on Inauguration Day? Who knows. But for right now, putting politics aside, one thing is certain: Obama is a very powerful man. And whether or not you embrace his message, there’s much to be learned from his ascent.
Following are three things I learned from the recent presidential campaign which I believe can be valuable life lessons to anyone seeking power, influence, and success.
1. Own up to controversy
“Let your soul be your bookie.” -Sting
When the racially charged remarks of Reverend Jeremiah Wright severely threatened his campaign, Obama hunkered down and gave a powerful speech on race relations. Following is an excerpt:
- “The profound mistake of Reverend Wright’s sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It’s that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country – a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old — is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past.”
His closest advisers told him not to address the situation. But Obama gambled feeling that after the speech, the controversy would either subside; or he would not become President. It was a lesson teaching that in the midst of controversy, don’t back down. Rather stand stronger with your best foot forward. *
2. Feelings are more powerful than thoughts
“The feeling is often the deeper truth, the opinion the more superficial one.” Augustus William Hare
Scientific research shows that people are much more likely to respond to powerful emotions than they are to brilliant thoughts. No matter one’s politics, it can’t be denied that Obama’s message and speeches have captivated millions. The “Yes We Can” mantra, despite it’s elementary verbiage, sparks a primal sense of self-empowerment. The infectious nature of positive emotion made all the difference on election day. **
It’s a valuable lesson I often share in my yoga classes: to come from a place of feeling rather than thinking. When you come from a peaceful and relaxed feeling, you significantly amplify your power to connect and influence others. But when you are stuck in your mind and grinding out the day, you diminish your impact. After all, who wants to be around the person who’s jagged vibration causes them stress, stress, and more stress. Joseph Campbell said, “Life is not about the meaning. It’s about the feeling.”
3. Enjoy Life
In the past, we looked for a leader who could fight wars, debate politics, and boost the economy. And all those thing are of absolute and vital importance. But on par with those strengths is a new requirement for a leader based on the information overload inherent to the modern day: the ability to emanate joy, relaxation, and spiritual wealth.
Alice Walker, the author of The Color Purple, recently published “A Letter to Barack Obama.” Following is an excerpt:
- “A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.
- Caress Me Down Sublime
- On Call Kings Of Leon
- Bargain The Who
- Before This Time Ollabelle
- Castles Made of Sand The Jimi Hendrix Experience
- If Not for You (Alternate Take) Bob Dylan
- My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue) Neil Young
- I’m In an Awful Mood The Smokin’ Joe Kubek Band
- Over the Hills and Far Away Led Zeppelin
- Raining in Baltimore Counting Crows
- Sideways Citizen Cope
- Fuel for Fire M. Ward
- Om Mani Padme Hum Wah
- Bookmark :
- Digg
- del.icio.us
- Stumbleupon
- Redit it
November
|
||||||||||||||||||||
- Bookmark :
- Digg
- del.icio.us
- Stumbleupon
- Redit it
-
Category
-
Archives
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- December 2006
- August 2006
- March 2004
- April 2003
- November 2000