Archive for February, 2009

“The answers to our problems don’t lie beyond our reach.  They exist in our laboratories and universities; in our fields and our factories; in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth.  Those qualities that have made America the greatest force of progress and prosperity in human history we still possess in ample measure.”

President Obama, 2-24-09, address to Congress

Standing in line in Starbucks, I felt my phone ringing in my pocket. I hesitantly looked to see who was calling. “DANNY TAM” flashed on the screen of my iPhone. Oh God, I thought, I can’t deal with DANNY TAM right now. He’s one of those dudes who kisses his guy friends on the cheek. The kind of guy you best avoid.

I screened his call and put the phone back in my pocket.

Two seconds later I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Danny Tam also in line at Starbucks.

“Yo, thanks for answering my call,” Danny Tam said, clearly bummed out that he actually witnessed me screening his call.

I tried to act positive, “Danny hey! Good to see you!”

“Dude why’d you screen my call?”

“Listen man, I’m really hungover and just not in the mood to talk on the phone right now,” I answered.

Danny Tam. walked out of Starbucks sulking.

I’m a sensitive type and ran after him, “Danny c’mon man, I’m really sorry, seriously!”

And I had to sit there and talk Danny Tam off the ledge for freakin 15 minutes.   As we finally wound down the conversation, Danny Tam kissed me on the cheek and got crumbs from his Maple Nut Scone, drops from his Chai Latte, and spit from his mouth caught in my 3 day stubble.

I’m super touch sensitive and can barely deal with a kiss from my Grandma let alone nasty ass Danny Tam. But I had it comin’.

*****
It’s one thing to turn off your phone when you need private time. And God knows we all need a lot more private time. But when your phone is on and you screen calls, I’ve come to believe it’s wrong. Screening calls is wrong. This attitude of avoidance is what ails our nation. We avoid paying a parking ticket. We ignore dealing with jury duty. We hide from the annoying caller.  Who has time to deal with such things?

In the maddening velocity of life, we’ve all learned to duck, shuffle and dodge in order to survive. But shuffle the cones in the parking lot and waste another’s time putting them back in place.  Dodge a bullet and it’s bound to hit something else. Duck from paying your taxes and a city worker loses a paycheck. The “individual” may or may not be responsible for the recession, but each and everyone of us needs to take responsibility for the recovery.

If each individual contributed her passion, skill, and honest tax returns, in a very short period we could see, if not a complete economic recovery, certainly a moral one. So next time that annoying name flashes on your cell phone, it’s a symbolic moment. I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to answer the call.   Answer the call to work harder and not complain about it. Answer the call to be nicer to the snappy waiter you know is struggling to make ends meet. Answer the call to deal with someone or something you would have avoided in the past.

Because the only thing worse than a sloppy kiss from Danny Tam…is a piercing scream from Uncle Sam.

I’m fed up with feeling like a victim in this economy. Can you relate? I’m fed up with the roller coaster of emotions and the dire news reports. I’m fed up with worrying about money. I’m fed up with not being able to sleep. But over the past day or two, I’ve turned a corner. The President said something really interesting in his speech on Tuesday: “The answers to our problems don’t lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and universities; in our fields and our factories; in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth. Those qualities that have made America the greatest force of progress and prosperity in human history we still possess in ample measure.”

While so many of us are not responsible for the recession, it seems we all need to take responsibility for the recovery. The idea being that if we can become internally empowered by our own passion, frustration, and determination, we will heal the economy much faster. When we are externally empowered, we depend on the media, a boss, outside influences to bring us security and safety. And we are all learning that’s a very vulnerable place to be.

But you can’t just wake up one morning and free yourself of dependence on the outside world. According to the yogis*, there’s a 4 step plan to becoming truly internally empowered:

1. EMOTIONAL MATURITY

“Life is not about the meaning. It’s about the feeling.” Joseph Campbell

This means instead of developing sophisticated opinions, develop capacity for feelings and an ability to stay true to your feelings. We’ve got enough mentally “intelligent” people debating on CNN about what’s right and wrong in the economy. What we really need going forward are people who can “feel.” We need people who can “feel” others’ pain and help them rise up. We need people who can “feel” greater love and form deeper bonds in times when other resources are scarce. We need people who can “feel” their anger and not bury it in deep inside waiting for it to violently explode…but rather make sense of it and express it in a more productive way.

2. INVOLUTION

“You cannot have goals, if you do not know what to say ‘no’ to.” -Robin Sharma

This means the ability to say “no” to the outside world thus enabling a clearer path to inner discovery. In these challenging times, the individual who’s able to become a stronger character with a deeper sense of their truth will be the individual who thrives. Such an individual needs to be able to say “no” to watching too much stressful news. He needs to be able to say “no” to the friend who makes him feel like crap everytime they hang out. He needs to be able to say “no” to that which does not serve his greater good.

3. NARCISSISM

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Einstein

According to Carolyn Myss, when undergoing a shift toward internal empowerment, narcissism can be a positive thing. To take on a new image, a battle-“heartened” look, is a reminder that we best apply a new attitude and new energy to these changing times. Whether it’s long hair, braids, a beard, a soul patch, hippie clothes, all black, eyeliner. Let your style make a statement: “I am stronger than my problems!”

4. EVOLUTION

“The sword will always be defeated by the spirit.” Napolean

The previous steps lead to this final one. The world yields to one with inner strength. Going forward, if you wish to become powerful rather than diminished by a shrinking economy, develop this inner strength which some refer to as spirit. In this new economy, a truly powerful person will be an evolved person with the capacity to feel emotions, to reject stress as unproductive, to cultivate their own sense of style and truth, and to live from a place of freedom rather than fear.

Playlist from 2-27-09

Lean on Me Bill Withers
Killing me Softly The Fugees
King Without a Crown Matisyahu
Lay Down Sally Eric Clapton
The Late Greats Wilco
Lately The Helio Sequence
Don’t Worry, Be Happy Bobby McFerrin
Kaya Bob Marley & The Wailers
King of the Road (Single Version) Roger Miller
Make a Killing Aimee Mann
Kimberly Austin Porno for Pyros
Sexual Healing Ben Harper
Latika’s Theme AR Rahman & Suzanne
Kothbiro Ayub Ogada

*inspired by Carolyn Myss, ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT

“Celebrating creates an atmosphere of recognition and positive energy. Imagine a team winning the World Series without champagne spraying everywhere. And yet companies win all the time and let it go without so much as a high five. Work is too much a part of life not to recognize moments of achievement. Make a big deal out of them. If you don’t, no one will.” Jack Welch

You are about to view a video. Let me set the scene. It was June 1985. My Little League team made it all the way to the championship game. I was a mediocre hitter and figured to buckle under the pressure of the big game. But as you are about to see, the Gods smiled down upon me and I hit not one, but two home runs in the big game. Over the past 24 years, I’ve shared this highlight with countless friends, colleagues, and many first dates. And all too often, after watching this video, the viewer will say, “It’s great…but what’s with the limp fives?”

As I rounded third base during both home run trots, I dished out a series of very limp high fives. The first person to bring them to my attention was Coach Jack, my Little League coach. In fact, in my upcoming book, I have a whole chapter about how I believe that Coach Jack’s intimidating comments during Little League led me to develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Anyhoo…

Toward the end of this memorable championship game, Coach Jack approached me in the dugout and through the nastiness of his alcoholic breath, I heard him say, “If you’re gonna high five like that, you might as well grab my ass and kiss me on the lips…for cryin out loud high five like a real man!”

I know what you must be thinking and I agree with you, Coach Jack was very inspirational. Thanks to Coach Jack, I experienced so much during my 12th year of life. He was the man behind my first sip of alcohol, my first cigarette, my first day trip to Mexico, and my first kiss (not with Coach Jack but rather an older woman named Rosarita in a place Coach Jack called a ‘bro-thal’). Those things are tiny memories in the scope of time. But Coach Jack taught me a much greater lesson that endures to this day: if you’re gonna high five, make contact. (CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE VIDEO)

*****

There is no rule in the economic stimulus package let alone the sacred texts that says, “Thou shalt not celebrate!” Everyday in life, things happen…a rainbow shines, a child laughs, Jack Bauer overcomes. You can choose to dismiss those things amidst the enormous shadows enveloping the world. Or you can choose to see the brilliant contrast of bright light against deep darkness.

The cycle of light and dark, day and night is only relevant to one confined by the earth’s atmosphere. Rise just sixty miles into space and there shines the sun without interruption. Darkness is only a matter of perspective. So if you, like me, are scared of the dark, rise up! Live with a renewed passion to celebrate the little things. Not a day should go by without some symbolic gesture of triumph over fear, and faith over doubt. As I’ve come to understand…24 years later…what good is a towering home run followed by a limp high five?

By no means am I anything close to a food critic but I do a lot of traveling and a lot of eating so I believe my ranking counts for something. And I’d just like to share what for me is the single greatest example of “comfort-food” in all of the United States. It starts with a trip to Chelsea’s Kitchen in Phoenix, Arizona. With its supremely comfortable environment described as “pacific-northwest chic decor,” Chelsea’s Kitchen is the type of place where you feel relaxed, intrigued, and at ease whether you’re there pre-football on Sunday afternoon, with your spouse for a Thursday night dinner, or on a business lunch. You might start by ordering their signature drink, a Zestini, with a citrus and vodka taste that is equally refreshing yet closes the shades on life’s unwanted glare. Then it all comes down to the tuna tartar and guacamole appetizer. Described on the menu as ultra #1 tuna with shredded radish, soy-lemon vinaigrette and tortilla chips, I’d like just say every bite is perfection. Served with tortilla chips, it is both light for your skinnier self begging for the light of day…yet also completely nourishing for that part of you who’s been known to raid the fridge at 1am after a night of ganja and budweiser.