Archive for February, 2009

Despite its terrible financial problems, Iceland was voted home to the world’s happiest people (according to the United Nations Development Programme’s Human Development Index rankings). Iceland?! Where it’s freezing cold and the sun doesn’t make an appearance for months at a time!? “Wow,” I thought when reading this fact. But I soon discovered there are some valuable secrets to learn from Icelanders. And these secrets have nothing do with how much money they earn or how nice of a car they drive. Icelanders’ secrets to happiness might just be the trick we all need to live large in our ever-shrinking economy.

Here are 3 secrets embraced by the world’s happiest people:

1. Naivete

It’s very common for Icelanders to believe in fairies, elves, dwarfs, energy vortices, and all sorts of crazy stuff. When a very realistic Icelander was asked if he believed in such things, he replied, “I don’t know if I believe in them, but other people do, and my life is richer for it.” Ain’t that the truth?! It’s more fun to believe than it is not to believe. And it’s more fun to hang out with “believers” who love a great story and a rich fantasy…than it is to hang out with doubters, skeptics, and people stuck in the abyss of fear. When we become so rational and practical, we lose touch with the magic. Eric Weiner, author of The Geography of Bliss writes, “A pinch of self-delusion, it turns out, is an important ingredient in the happiness recipe.” * So dare to read a bedtime story, if not for a child, then for yourself.

2. Guiltless Living

Due to Iceland’s extreme geography in the middle of the North Atlantic, it was more or less ignored by Christian missionaries. **And thus, the people are not bound by any kind of religious guilt. When Icelanders are not happy in a marriage, they have little fear of leaving the marriage and starting anew. Iceland is known for many patchwork families where former husbands and wives will come and spend the weekend with their ex’s in order to see the children. What would be awkward if not downright awful in many cases in America….is completely common in Iceland. Imagine…actually following your bliss and not being tied down by guilt. I don’t share this information as encouragement to leave your marriage and fly by the seat of your pants. It just implies that we all might benefit from daring to look within and heed the mantra: “You owe no loyalty to anyone but your own soul and that is the most sacred form of loyalty.”

3. Cold Weather

The studies show that people in colder climates are happier than people in warmer climates. *** Why? Because they have to cooperate in order to function in extreme conditions. That social interdependence breeds happiness. When people spend a life alone, even if alone on a sandy beach, they are not as likely to be happy as when they spend a life in close connection with others.  So think twice before you sell your belongings and fly away to a beach in Costa Rica. You might be better off taking the flight to Reykjavik and avoiding the cold darkness by hunkering down with a few best friends by a fire. Sounds almost as weird as believing in dwarves and fairies. (:

The Long Road Eddie Vedder & Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
Three More Days Ray LaMontagne
She’s Gone Bob Marley & The Wailers
Woman Don’t Wanna Bang Around    007
Jam A Tribe Called Quest
Walking on the Moon The Police
Everything Alanis Morissette
Careless Love Madeleine Peyroux
Streets of Philadelphia Bruce Springsteen
Us And Them Frankie Paul
Holiday In Spain Counting Crows
Heaven (MTV Unplugged Version)    Bryan Adams
When You Say Nothing At All Alison Krauss

*The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner

**http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/may/18/iceland

***The Geography of Bliss

Do you remember what you did a week ago Tuesday? What about 3 weeks ago Wednesday? Life is becoming a big blur. What good is a day where you answer all your voicemails, and respond to all your emails, and check off all your to-do’s… if you fail to have one moment of pleasure? My mantra: Everyday of your life, enjoy one beautiful moment, one funny moment, and one delicious moment. It’s a simple way to create profound moments by which to give your days some substance.

Think of it this way. If you were to wake up in the morning, and somebody were to say to you, “Today will be a normal day. Everything will be fine. But you’ll never remember this day ever again for the rest of your life.” Would that not be totally uninspiring? And so often in our lives, days go by with not one single memory. Now imagine if you were to wake up one morning, and somebody were to say to you, “Today will be a normal day. Everything will be fine. But you’ll have one moment that is so wonderful, you’ll remember this day forever!” Would that not be totally exciting and make you wanna roll out of the bed? Every day has that potential when embracing the “Beautiful, Funny, Delicious” mantra.

By meandering through my Beautiful, Funny, Delicious blogs, you’ll notice the moments, sights, tastes and sounds that made for so many memorable days. I hope you will be inspired to take more time in your life to eat amazing chocolate, stop to watch a street musician, and dare to laugh to your heart’s content.

Lately I’ve been jogging to increase my cardiovascular strength and decrease my girth for the upcoming book tour. The little earbud headphones don’t stay in my ears so I jog with the Bose Noise Reducing headphones. Yes they are a bit awkward and I’ve been told that jogging with them gives me a striking resemblance to Warren from the movie Something about Mary (see above photo). One thing that’s unclear…when jogging on roads and coming to a red light, do you stop and let your heart rate decline…or do you jog in place and keep it going?

A few days ago, I was jogging along my usual path down Montana Avenue to Ocean Avenue. I stopped at a red light and began to jog in place. A car of high school kids pulled up at the light next to me. Due to my headphones, I couldn’t hear them, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the kids were speaking to me. Maybe they needed directions? Or maybe they wanted to know if I enjoyed my Bose Noise Reducing Headphones?

While removing the headphones, I heard one of the high school kids in mid-sentence saying, “…loser ever!”

“Excuse me I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you!?” I screamed out of breath while still jogging in place.

“I said you’re the biggest loser ever!” the high school kid screamed again.

I wished the light would turn green but it was a slow light. I refused to let these high school kids affect me and shouted back at them “You go away!” while maintaining my cardio rate.

I’d have been better off feeding Red Bull Vodka to a colic baby. The high school punks screamed even louder at the top of their lungs when all of the sudden…they got real quiet.

One of the high school kids rolled down the back window and said, “Aren’t you my mom’s yoga teacher?”

Sure enough, I recognized the kid who had taken my class a few times with his mom.

“Dude, my mom loves your class,” the kid said apologetically while shushing his friends in front.

“Does your mom know you’re a punk ass bitch?!” I screamed angrily.

I was beyond pissed and the second those words left my mouth, I felt terribly for my unyogic slip of the tongue. As the kids drove off, I thought to myself, “Y’know, jogging in place is awkward, and I was askin’ for it.”

*****

Nowadays, there’s no such thing as starting and stopping. We have one speed in life…that which enables us to maintain momentum on the information superhighway. I’m addicted to this speed. I can’t stop. When waking up, I run straight to my computer to see who’s written me overnight. When driving, I often check my emails. When finished teaching my yoga class, I can’t turn on my phone fast enough to see who called.

Yes my upcoming book is called Livin’ the Moment but in it, I’m not preaching from a pulpit…but rather, starting a conversation. How do we get a grip?

Addiction to “speed” is a sickness, and it undermines our connection to the Universe. Franz Kafka said, “..be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” In other words: “…turn off your phone and beware that if you can actually live in the moment, all good will come.”

So often we feel like we are lacking…not enough money, not enough opportunity, not enough lucky breaks. But really, what we’re lacking is the courage to be completely and deeply present…to stop at the red light and forsake pace, for peace. Because to the crazy mind, the universe shies away. But to the quiet mind, the universe kneels to play.

Being that I’m a Arizona Cardinals fan*, I was heartbroken when they lost yesterday’s Super Bowl in the last minute. I moped around the rest of the evening, feeling as I’d been dumped by a girlfriend.  Like so many other rabid sports wondering why they continue to put themselves through the emotional ringer, I’m struggling with what the yogis call “poor investment of attention.”

The word “investment” is super-relevant these days, what with so many people losing so much money in the markets. But the yogis speak of another kind of investing that doesn’t have anything to do with money. This investing has to do with the people, things, and places where we direct our attention. Because if we do it wisely, we will reap huge payouts in the ways of loving relationships, profound wisdom, and an underlying sense of well-being.  But if we do it poorly, all too often we will feel an uncomfortable longing for the missing piece that evades both the wealthiest billionaire and the struggling slumdog. If you or someone you know puts way too much attention into their sports team/s, maybe you’d like to share with them the following 3 suggestions:

1. Invest in something which you can control

“Children don’t need your presents. They need your presence.”  Anonymous

If you, like me, never want to stop watching sports, that’s fine but I’m just suggesting that the excess passion that gets you bummed over a stupid loss is wasted energy.  While we have little control over the financial markets or success of our favorite teams, we absolutely can invest our attention in things over which we DO have control. For instance, imagine if you took some of the energy that goes toward rooting for your team and redirected it toward playing with your kids or hanging out with your significant other.  One sports radio host consoled a bummed-out fan by saying, “These pro athletes go home to their huge mansions and their multi-million dollar salaries and trust me, they stop thinking about you, the fans,  so why should you continue thinking about them? Let it go!”

2.  Understand the value of surrender

“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.”  Julia Cameron

All of the ancient Eastern spiritual arts (ie: yoga, karate, tai chi, kung fu) teach the value of surrender. When we put energy toward something over which we have zero control, it’s cancerous to the spirit. The practice of surrender can be applied in any heated situation where our anger gets the best of us and causes us to make bad decisions.  It’s one thing to be able to say “Ok the Steelers won, I could do nothing about it, game over, honey let’s cuddle and love each other and enjoy the rest of our evening.” But even better is when you can say, “Ok that guy just cut me off in traffic, I want to freakin’ cuss him out and puncture his tires, but I’m gonna let it go and move on with my day.” Surrendering amidst intense emotions is as difficult as running an ultra-marathon or benching 300 lbs.  If you wanna be as tough and strong as the greatest champion athlete, embrace the ability to let go. A Zen proverb reads, “Nothing on earth can overcome an absolutely non-resistant person.”

3. Squeeze a clump of sand

“Time is like a handful of sand- the tighter you grasp it, the faster it runs through your fingers.”  Anonymous

Next time you’re at the beach or in a playground, grab a clump of sand in your hand. Squeeze it really hard and watch the sand shoot out from between your fingertips. Notice that when your hand grip is relaxed, you’re better able to handle the clump of sand. The point being sometimes trying too hard doesn’t work. By putting a container of sand by a rabid sport’s fan favorite TV set, you can remind him that screaming, shouting, and riding the highs and lows of wins and losses is counter-productive to what really matters…an underlying sense of contentment knowing that the loved ones are happy and healthy…and that life will go on even if the dreaded Steelers are champions.

• I’m Yours Jason Mraz
• you don’t know how it feels Tom petty
• Pass the Dutchie Musical Youth
• Mellow Mood Bob Marley & The Wailers
• All Day and All Night Jakob Dylan
• Fortress around Your Heart Sting
• Stay Human Michael Franti
• Fire on the Mountain Grateful Dead
• Across The Universe John Butler Trio
• F-Stop Blues Jack Johnson
• One with the Sun Norah Jones
• I Am A Rock Simon & Garfunkel
• Isolation John Lennon

* I’m a fair weather Cardinals fan but a fan nonetheless after living for 7 years in Phoenix
**I struggle with all of the above and am trying to talk myself through the Cardinals loss and the injury to Lakers star Andrew Bynum. Bad weekend and I’m hurting