Archive for July, 2009

“Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.” –Chinese proverb

The scene: a 4th of July party in Southern California. The host was carrying a trey of appetizers. Standing next to me was my cousin from a foreign country in which catered parties are few and far between. My cousin took an appetizer, dipped in the sauce, and tasted it.

“Yum,” he said.

While others were reaching for their own appetizer, my cousin again dipped his appetizer in the public sauce. As if someone screeched a chalk board with their fingernails, the immediate surroundings froze.

My cousin felt terribly while the host laughed and returned to the kitchen to dump the sauce. No harm, no foul. But let’s face it, double dipping in public is a bit gross.  Of course, the ideal strategy is to get the most you can from a single dip. And this holds true not just at a party but also in life. We all know those “lifetime double dippers” who take everything for granted and feel like the world owes them. When we approach life with an ungrateful, lazy attitude, it’s almost as disenchanting as the public double dip.

Human beings are fragile creatures. Each and every day we hear those stories of a life being swept away in an instant. I recently read about Jason William Schultz who sat in a bus stop and told another, “This is the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had.” Moments later, a senior citizen lost control of his car and plowed into the bus stop, instantly claiming Schultz’s life. Here one moment. Gone the next.  You just never know. We best live each day to the fullest. Following are 3 tips for living life as if you only get one dip:

1. Follow your Heart

I recently was invited to hang out with a bunch of friends. Upon arriving, I realized one of the friends was a super, super famous musician. I’ll be totally honest in saying I was a bit starstruck. Over the course of the evening, my awe faded and I realized this super famous person was also very down-to-earth and very cool. There was definitely something unique about her, something that we see in other human beings who command respect and become leaders. Such people need not be famous. They exist in every town in every country. Such people are those who can hear past the chatter of the world and look within. As Herman Hesse writes, “I wanted to try to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why is that so difficult?”

2. Confidence

Let’s face it. Some people are born confident. And others, like me, are prone to self-doubt. Either way, we always have a choice. And when we choose confidence, everything changes. Emerson said, “If I’ve lost confidence in myself, I have the Universe against me.”

3. Strong Mind

In the Western world, we emphasize a strong body, toned muscles, firm abs. But in the ancient Eastern world, there’s as much, if not more emphasis on a strong mind. When the mind is strong, we overcome self-doubt and have the tenacity to move past our naysayers, obstacles, and limitations. Gandhi said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

Most every human wakes up each morning with the sense that life can be difficult. But with purpose, confidence, and mental strength, we’re more likely to recognize that life can be beautiful. And while its easy for a moment to be filled with angst, I share in my book, Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment, how a moment can just as soon be enriched with a bite of chocolate, the orgasmic release of laughter, the softness of a sunset.  Barring some incredible scientific discovery of life after death, we best rise each day knowing we only get one dip. Make the most of it.

As a yoga teacher, I try to maintain a calm and happy classroom of students. This means telling the “loud breathers” to please keep it to themselves, herding “the sweaters” away from “the princesses,” suggesting somebody else’s class with “even hotter chicks” to “the pervs,” and putting the “shhhh” kabosh on “the talkers.”

But the “awkward spacers” are my greatest challenge. Over the past few weeks, a nice man with the best of intentions has been my attending my yoga class in Venice.  Being that these classes have plenty of open space in Exhale’s large studio, it’s especially awkward how the man enters the room, places his mat uncomfortably close to another student, dives into child’s pose, and causes the other student to move away.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. But just think about it for a second. You’ve taken the time and energy to come to yoga. Not easy. You’ve signed in, taken off your shoes, put away your stuff, unrolled your mat, put your magic carpet neatly folded to the side, said hello to the annoying person who asks “how are you” and turns to talk to somebody else before you answer, and endured that first and faint whiff of nastiness prevalent in any yoga room. And then some guy has the audacity to invade your space?!

It happens like clockwork every Monday and Wednesday two minutes before class at 2:28pm. In fact, it’s so predictable that yesterday I was even able to record the event on my video camera. Visit here to watch the brief video.

Is there a way to handle an “awkward spacer?” You’d have to catch him at the door which is just rude. I think this is a responsibility of the effected. Unlike The Pervs, The Breathers, or The Sweaters…the Awkward Spacers tend to be nice people who care about others and only wish for the best. They are just dimensionally disinclined and probably also tend to be close talkers, tailgaiters (while driving), bed hoggers, and when all’s said and done…lovers.

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I was recently in Las Vegas where I saw the Cirque de Soleil show featuring music by The Beatles. Being that the surviving Beatles played a major part in the show’s creation, it’s the closest I’ll ever come to seeing a live Beatles’ show. The music, the lyrics, the imagery combined for one of the great heart-opening experiences of a lifetime.

The show provided an emotional glimpse into the 1960s of which John Lennon said, “We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation, a ship going to discover the New World. And the Beatles were in the crow’s nest of that ship.” I write about in my book how The New World in the 2000′s is different than at any other time in history. The New World is not outer space or some unconquered territory in a far corner of the globe. Rather, the New World is the ever-harder-to reach Present Moment. We are becoming more connected with machines and less connected with experiences common to the moment: personal conversation, a touch on your shoulder, the scent of another’s breath.

When we are actually in the close proximity of another person, it’s strange, it’s uncomfortable, it’s very 1960′s.

Before you read on, visit here, and play this song.

Next time you come face to face with an “Awkward Spacer,” don’t move away. If for one 90 minute yoga class a fellow human being is closer to you than your Blackberry, it won’t hurt. In a time when we are needing to do so much with so little, are we forgetting a technology much more powerful than 3G or A.I.M. or S.M.S. or E.D.G.E.? It’s called L.O.V.E.

The following is not dedicated to Michael Jackson. Rather, it’s dedicated to the slow death of someone significantly more influential to our society: the school teacher.

For today’s Michael Jackson memorial, the city of Los Angeles will incur as much as $2 million to cover police, paramedics, traffic officers, and other city employees. It is a blaring indicator of what’s wrong with our economy…an inability to recognize priorities. Since March of this year in the state of California, more than 26,000 teachers and other school staff have received pink slips.  There’s no money for teachers but plenty of money for a Michael Jackson memorial? Is it me or does this seem strange?

On a day when so many are fantasizing about the life and accomplishments of Michael Jackson, I’m going to take a second to fantasize about something much “crazier” than Neverland: a world in which teachers are the stars they deserve to be.  In fact, not just teachers but anyone who adds value to society and struggles to makes end met. These people earn a different kind of wealth I call ‘spiritual wealth.”   One attains spiritual wealth based on how beautiful moments they achieve in a day, how many children they inspire, how much time they reserve for family and loved ones, how often they touch the sand, watch the sunrise, and gaze at the oldest, tallest and prettiest trees in town. I know it’s crazy but just a moment, let me dream.

And what if there was a certain “elite” neighborhood where only those with spiritual wealth could “afford” to live? Let’s call this neighborhood Mas Jegas simply cause it rhymes with Las Vegas. In Mas Jegas, there is a system similar to the bank that offers currency for your wealth. Let’s call it the “the Dank” which sounds like the bank. And let’s use the word “honey” not because they’d get honey from the ATM but because it rhymes with “money.” There’d need to be bankers similar to analysts who would gauge one’s spiritual wealth. Let’s call them Dankers. This would truly flip things around. Surely some great school teachers, street bums, taxi drivers and city workers would be fabulously “rich” in Mas Jegas.

I know what you must be thinking. What a ridiculous fantasy. But was the life of Micheal Jackson also not in many ways a ridiculous fantasy? If we put $2 million toward that, can we not put something toward a world where value, purpose, and priorities are the name of the game?   If there’s one thing we gain from the hoopla around the passing of Michael Jackson, let it be to take a look at our priorities and consider this notion of a different kind of wealth.

Following are 3 tips to boosting your spiritual wealth:

1. Get Your Lunar Tan
If you think back on life, it’s hard to remember what you did a week ago Thursday or two weeks ago Monday. Life is turning into a big blur. A full moon is the solution.  If it’s been a while since you’ve enjoyed a full moon, mark the next one on your calendar as an opportunity to put down  the cell phone, turn off the TV, and take a summer stroll under the light. We don’t need a fancy vacation or expensive experience to live the good life. It’s the simple moments and sweet pleasures that make up our greatest memories.  (tonight, July 7, is a full moon!)

2. The TV Diet
It’s very common in today’s world to make the TV the centerpiece of the living room. At least that’s the case in my living room. And our precious eveninga with loved ones are often consumed by The Housewives of Orange County, Simon Cowell, or Kobe Bryant. There’s nothing wrong with that, until we realize that one too many days go by without a conversation, quiet moment, or healing laugh with spouses, mothers, fathers, and brothers. It’s a great habit to take one day each week without TV. It might be painful at first but there’s nothing more enriching than reconnecting with those we love most.

3. Read a Bedtime Story
Some of my greatest memories are the pictures, rhymes, and fables from my favorite children’s books. As a child, every time someone would read me Where the Wild Things Are, I couldn’t believe my eyes…the forest was growing from the main character’s (Max) ceiling and before long, he was dancing with giant monsters in some crazy land. What a beautiful way to drift off to sleep…Whether or not you have children, it’s a deeply enriching experience to read a bedtime story from a great childrens book. Read it to a child, read it to your spouse, read it to yourself.  You’re never too old for fantasy. Keep dreaming. Who knows…maybe just maybe the day will come when you can afford the luxuries of Mas Jegas.

For more on Mas Jegas and the land of spiritual wealth, check out my book Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment.

I’d like to share some tips on livin’ the good life even in a bad economy.

1. Instead of Take Out…Take In

There’s this great outdoor café in Santa Monica called Urth Café. It’s kind of pricey so on Tuesdays and Fridays (when I’m in town), I’ll pack a lunch and enjoy it in Urth Café’s sun-drenched patio. That way I get all the atmosphere without needing to pay. This is something that anyone can do in their favorite restaurant with outdoor seating. I do recommend being aware. The other day the manager kicked me out after saying, “Sir, I know you’re not a customer. We don’t serve corn dogs, fruit rollups, and Capri Sun.”

2. Donation Yoga

Let’s face it. Yoga costs a small fortune. So I’ve started taking donation-only classes where you place a donation in a wooden box after class. In lieu of money, I’ve been paying with little notes  that say,  “This note is worth 1,000,000 hugs” and then I’ll draw something nice like a sun with a smile or an image of small phallic people in a faraway land.

3. Involuntary Altruism

I’m not sure if you’ve tried the licorice flavor Altoids, but they are absolutely fabulous. When paying the check at a restaurant, you’ll often notice the server will write a little note on the check: “Thanks, Come back soon! Rhonda.” After paying the bill, in lieu of tipping with money, I’ll leave 3 of those licorice Altoids and write back to her: “Rhonda, Instead of tipping you, I’ve decided to donate the $10 to a poor child in Africa. God Bless You.” It’s a great way to bring out the best in servers while helping them see the value of altruism.

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I encourage you to take a deep breath, and loosen your grip. There’s nothing more healing in tough times than a little humor. I recently read that the freedom of any society varies proportionately with the volume of it’s laughter.

If there’s one thing that will blossom through the darkness of 2009, it will be greater freedom. Freedom to laugh, freedom to relax, freedom to trust that money is not the end-all-be-all we once thought it to be.  And as I just shared, you can live the good life practically for free. Henrik Ibsen said, “Money may buy the husk of things, but not the kernel. It brings you food but not appetite, medicine but not health, acquaintances but not friends, servants but not faithfulness…”

My Playlist from 7-2-09

Constellations Jack Johnson

Alive Ima Robot

The Wanting Comes in Waves Decemberists

The Heart of the Matter India Aire

Fortunate Son Donavon Frankenretier

Om Namah Shivaya Wade Morissette