10. Bring a dog that poops and pees all over the house
9. Bring wine coolers
8. Bring a friend that nobody knows yet roots for the other team…and talks too much
7. Say “Anyone wanna split a salad?”
6. Refer to “uniforms” as “outfits”
5. Hang out in “the other room” and talk about my book
4. Say “Does anyone wanna practice taking quarterback snaps at halftime? I’ll be the center!”
3. Eat a frozen banana while watching the game
2. Say “Let’s hold hands on 4th and 10…y’know… for good luck.”
1. Say “I would totally let my wife hook up with Tom Brady, as long as I could hook up with Leonardo Di Caprio.”