Archive for September, 2009

My buddy Chad is a successful, good looking dude with a great pad and the best of intentions…I believe a total catch for a woman looking to settle down. Chad recently vented, “I’m sick and tired of going solo to all these freakin’ weddings. No more benders in Vegas, no more stolen nitris tanks, no more hookers. This is it. I’m ready to settle down.”

This lovely woman Katherine takes my yoga class often and I thought she’d be the perfect match for Chad. So i invited her to join us for a leisurely Sunday hang.

Ding-Dong.  Chad shuffled to the door and opened it, about to greet Katherine, when he lost his breath…

WTF!?

“Hey guys,” Katherine said. “This is my boyfriend Ish, thanks for inviting us over.”

Chad refused to shake boyfriend Ish’s outstretched hand. Let’s be honest. We’ve all been in this kind of situation where you think someone is single and you find out the hard way they’re not. This “boyfriend” was about as welcome as a “floater” left by a departed houseguest in your powder room toilet. (A “floater” is a little piece of poopie that refuses to be flushed…known in some circles as a “keeper.”)

God knows that powder room is finely decorated with the fancy towels, the pastel painting by Grandma on the wall, the lovely sea-shell collage near the sink, the picture of your baby niece dressed as a flower girl by the window…and the odd, defiant little floater bobbing up and down in the toilet water.

*****

Can you not relate to the floater’s angst? Sometimes it seems like everything around me is so nice and well-put together but I, the floater, am just bobbing up and down, wishing someone would flush me away. Away from the sea-shell collage, away from the pastel painting by Grandma, away from the burdens and pressures of life.

But wait, to some, the floater is heroic. After all, it remained, a lasting peace (or should I say piece) with the courage to stand out in all its gory (or should I say glory). There is a part in each of us that feels like the floater, ugly and unable, starkly contrasted against a world of people who are richer, prettier, happier. Whether due to your social status, career, financial state, or health, each and every one has some kind of burden to bear and struggle to endure.

Here’s my advice. If you seem stricken with being single forever, embrace your freedom. If you’re shackled by financial crisis, simplify. If your health is waning, live each day to the fullest. And if a woman you were hoping to date comes over (with her freakin’ boyfriend), be nice to him, the universe works in mysterious ways. As the great Dingle Berry Nasteeman said, “Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”

Cutting edge research shows things like happiness, physical shape, generosity, and intellect are deeply effected by the people around us. When we spend time with happy people, the science shows we are more likely to be happy. When we spend time with obese people, the science shows we are significantly more likely to gain weight. *

It sounds obvious but I believe something we fail to consider. How do the people in our lives make us feel, think, and consume? For instance, eat an amazing burger with a big glass of Zinfandel and the flavors will be greatly enhanced. But eat an amazing burger with a sweet dessert wine and both flavors will be nullified. Are the people in your life enhancing or nullifying your essence, personality, and vibration? Here are 3 things to consider in maintaining your optimal flavor and passion for life:

1. Takers
There are certain people in each of our lives who are takers. In my book I share a story of an exercise teacher who created a fusion workout called Yogaerobalatetate which is the combination of yoga, aerobics, karate, and pilates. I always felt worse after being in the presence of this teacher who would start class by placing a few drops of oil in your eyes which would create a burning sensation “perfect for inciting rage and the ensuing emotional release.” Doesn’t that sound like fun? “Takers” zap your energy, self-esteem, resources, and faith. I encourage you to take inventory of how much time you spend in the presence of takers. And take a step back. Takers’ unhappiness, laziness, and bad energy are like the flu, contagious. Not to say you can’t love and spend time with unhappy people, especially the ones you love.. They need you the most. But have boundaries and limits.

2. Givers
There are certain people in each of our lives who are givers. In India I waited in line for hours to get a hug from Amma, The Hugging Saint (see above photo). I was skeptical but when I finally was first in line, her disciples pushed me to my knees where she put my head in her chest and embraced me. It was one of the more powerful moments of my life. Not because it was spiritual, but because here was a person giving love just for the sake of giving love. That is so rare in today’s world. And it feels so good to be in the presence of such a person. We all know “givers” who fill us up with wisdom, delicious food, and nourishing energy. Whether it’s a grandma, college buddy, or random friend you met in yoga, givers are the chocolate chunks that make an otherwise vanilla moment so memorable.

3. Tricksters
In mythology, a trickster is one who bends the rules of conventional behavior. In high school, the trickster was probably your friend who made you ditch class to surf. Nowadays, the trickster is the friend who makes you laugh so hard you fart during a wedding ceremony. We need tricksters in our life because we need laughter. Laughter has countless health benefits, is an aphrodisiac, can turn a bad day into a great one, and most importantly, can restore your energy, passion, and clarity in one fell swoop. If a giver is the zinfandel with the burger, the trickster is the Tabasco, salt, and pepper.

So if you’re feeling a little bland, and lacking flavor, maybe it’s time to shuffle the deck. Hang out this weekend with that random person who makes you laugh. Invite over the longtime pal you haven’t seen since 2001. Dare I say…cancel the plans with the couple who brings you down and give a shout out to one who lifts you up. As Bob Marley said so perfectly, “God I gotta take a lift.”

2009 is the year where I looked in the mirror and saw my very first gray hair. I’m guessing I’m not the only one? Ever since, I’ve felt a little different and spent considerable time researching aging.  I’ve found some fascinating research being conducted on aging that gives great hope to those who fear sagging bodies, decaying joints, and drooping perspectives. Scientists have found that part of aging is due to genetic programming. In other words, there are programs in our genes that switch on and cause certain aspects of aging to kick into gear.

We are learning how to delay if not turn off those programs. Scientists have been able to extend the lifetime of a little worm called C. elegans by 600% and mice by 26%.* Thus, things are looking positive for prolonging human life in the future. But it’ll take a while before you can go to the doctor and get an injection that will add 10 years to your timeline. I’ve got something to hold you over. Following are 3 tips that you can embrace right now to stay young:

1. Convert Tension to Energy
High school physics teaches that energy can never be lost. It just changes forms. We all have so much tension bound up in our muscles and joints. By learning to stretch, we convert that tension to free-flowing energy. Stretching enables one to move past her aches, pains, cramps, and knots and sense a childlike freedom in the flesh. For this reason, so many are drawn to yoga. It might sound elementary to bend over and touch your toes but there’s nothing elementary about the joy of lying on your back in a totally relaxed state that will remind you of the carefree days of youth spent napping under a fading summer sun.

2. Never Stop Dreaming
I’ve been toying with a business idea but keep getting snagged on the little details. I hear this skeptic in my head saying, “Who would do this?” “Where would I find the money to do that?” “How in the world would I have time?”  A very successful entrepreneur friend told me that vision is the highest evolution and those with the courage to dream big are often the most successful. But even more important, I’ve found that those with the courage to dream big have the most vitality, youthfulness, and passion. So if you, like me, tend to get snagged on the little things…give yourself a chance to open your mind and think the big thoughts. John Barrymore said, “You don’t age until your regrets outnumber your dreams.”

3. Stillness is Strength
So much is lost in the modern world’s maddening pace. For instance, it’s harder to find clarity, more difficult to appreciate beauty, increasingly rare to truly savor good food. Another thing less obvious but certainly lost in the madness is human strength. The yogis teach that strength does not come from force, hustle, or effort…but rather from stillness. Think about it. The greatest athletes are those who lock into a state of “flow,” a mental calmness immune to the screaming crowds and pressure packed external scenario. By reclaiming moments of stillness in your day, you will tap into a strength far greater than you thought possible. As you get older, it’s common to feel that your problems are stronger than you. But as I share in my book Livin’ the Moment, one who draws from the depth and beauty of the present moment will find, no matter her age, that she is always stronger than her problems.

Starting today, I am teaching 2 weekly yoga classes at a brand new studio in Santa Monica. There is no price for the classes. Rather, you decide what to pay (ie donation).  If you love my class, heck, why not donate $25?!  If you don’t love my class, leave $5 for shits and giggles. But if you’re hit hard by the economy and can’t pay, I’d like to share a few things you could donate in lieu of money:

10.   Sing to me The Clapper theme song

9.     Find out who the guy in the above photo is, and take a picture of yourself giving him a wedgie while he’s meditating

8.     Champinones

7.     Make a honk sound when I adjust you

6.     A promise never to sing any of these songs. Ever.

5.     A chia pet (fuzzy, hard, and makes a great gift)

4.     Retractable bathroom mirror so I can more easily shave my back

3.     A Cabbage Patch Kid (preferably a boy)

2.     A big fat hug

1.     A Chimay
My new classes take place at Yogis Anonymous in Santa Monica on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4:15pm. Donate what you can.