I’ve received lots of crazy emails but nothing as crazy and vulgar as one I received a week ago. It is a company that makes necklaces of a certain body part. I can only imagine the inventor or artist who hatched the idea. He must have been on a plane, woke from a dream, and quickly sketched down the thought while whispering, “Oh my God Oh my God where’s my pen where’s my pen…this is it!!!!”

What is our world coming to?

*****

I recently went to a doctor of sorts (more of the witch variety) who gave me some interesting nutrition advice. He said that one takes on the characteristics of what she eats. For that reason, he told me to stay away from birds and fish which are overridden with anxiety. Meanwhile he advised a steady diet of beef to get grounded and manly.  That advice was absolutely contradictory to the advice I got from a nutritionist who said to never eat red meat and that I should stick to a diet of fish and vegetables.

I’m confused! I don’t know what’s good for me, who to listen to, and if I should be a pescatarian, vegan, or burger n’ beer man.  So many people offering so much advice. “Running is good for you.” “Running is terrible for you.” “Hot Yoga is the best.” “Hot yoga is dirty and germ-infested.”  “Yeah Dave’s Guide is freakin hilarious!” “Yeah Dave’s Guide is t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e!”

Now that I think about it, my hat is off to the crazy inventor who went with his gut (if not his loins) and followed through with the vulva necklace. We could all benefit, at least sometimes, from tuning out the conflicting advice of those around us and listening more carefully to the voice within us. And if that voice be just a tiny bit corrupt, well….Emerson said it perfectly:

“But if I am the Devil’s child, I will live then from the Devil. No law   can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it.”