Urban legend has it that in a certain city a certain yoga teacher would adjust people in the pyramid pose, hover over their back as if to push down and lengthen their spine, and his “Man Berries” (aka Mountain Oysters) could be faintly felt on the back of their head.

Upon surveying those who have taken this teacher’s class, these are the responses I heard:

“Wait is he in town?!”

“Oh my God, I loooooooved his class.”

“Oy.”

“MC TeaBag? Love that guy!”

I know what you must be thinking and I agree. Aren’t there better things to write about? But sometimes things happen in yoga and I feel a certain responsibility to share them so we can start a dialogue. It’s when we shove these little goings-on to the depths that we become naïve as to what people outside Yoga Nation are saying. And that is a big problem. I believe yoga is not growing as fast it could, if it’s even growing at all anymore. I believe yoga is not branching out in a way that would serve all those whose paycheck is dependent on the prosperity of our industry.

So I propose a national yoga conference less for teaching and more for dialogue. Like a TED or World Economic Forum for the fans, teachers, gurus, and marketers of the yoga industry.

Some things that need discussing:

–how to further the careers of young, talented yoga teachers across the nation who otherwise have little chance of being recognized. A talent scouting system of sorts.

–how to build better community amongst studios. So often studios will only promote their own workshops rather than joining forces and helping one another on a citywide basis.

–how to create a rating system for yoga classes based on the style of physical adjustments. G being for the teacher who will give a tap or two in down dog and nothing more. And R for the teacher who will plop down on top of you in Happy Baby and whisper sweet nothings in your ear/s. Those ratings will be applied by a rating certification business (like the Yoga Alliance but more corrupt) similar to how the movie business has the MPAA to rate films. Let’s be honest people. Some of us love to be touched, massaged, and rubbed and would opt for the R rated class anyday of the week. And some of us consider our inner thighs sacred territory and would stick with G and occasionally opt for PG on Friday nights.

Either way, we all love yoga whether it be the G, R, or dare I say X variety. So let’s join forces, stop the in-fighting, trash talking, and snobbery, and build bridges to the uninitiated thirsting for the peace and sanctity only a great savasana can provide.