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Visit here to read the NY Times story: When Chocolate and Chakras Collide

It’s not easy being a newborn baby and trying to communicate. A baby cries, smiles, lunges, lurches, bangs, and shrieks hoping to get across a message and receive a response from Mommy or Daddy. In the same way, an adult burns sage, sings hymns, prays, invokes and shouts…trying to communicate with the Divine.

Some of us are like difficult babies, whining and whimpering in our pursuit of revelation.  And some of us are easier, finding Perfection in a warm blanket on a rainy Sunday, or a delicious plate of amatriciana when you’re mouthwatering hungry.

So here’s my question. What kind of baby are YOU?

–Happy-Go-Lucky Baby: you take life as it comes, usually smiling, happy for the warm day, the new face, the hot bath, the simple pleasures. Some common problems and how you respond: Your flight is canceled and you need to spend the night in O’Hare? You’ll just get work done. The Viagara doesn’t seem to be working anymore? Being the sweety that you are, you’ll keep things alive and well by giving the gift of Janeson Rayne’s innovative Magic Banana.

–Dirty Baby: you are ahead of the curve, walking at 6 months, talking at 9 months, mustache at 5 years old, hitting on 2nd grade teacher at 8 years old, virginity out the window at 12 years old. Your flight is canceled and you need to spend the night in O’Hare? Nothing phases you so long as you got a few blankets and the imagination. The Vigara doesn’t seem to be working anymore? Heck, who needs Viagara when you got a Marlboro 110, a slice of raw bacon covered in Tabasco, and a couple spritzes of One Man Show.

–Colic Baby: you have, shall we say, digestive issues and what some might call The Dirty Elves (see above pic) working overtime in your lowers. Your flight is canceled and you need to spend the night in O’Hare?  You clear out the waiting area with a Starbucks Squealer. The Viagra doesn’t seem to be working anymore? Doesn’t matter. Nobody wants to date you anyway as every time you go on a date, you subject the other to the Pomodoro Punchout or the Chardonnay Cooker or worst of all, The Dried Apricot Annihilation.

*****

Thinking back on the last few years, I realized my faith was virtually nonexistent. I worked, traveled, networked…but rarely prayed. I was like the guy at the gym with the giant upper body and tiny chicken legs…way out of balance. Without some way of letting go and establishing belief in something (anything) greater than one’s own self, our annoying vibration is no different and no less disgusting than a Burrito Butt Belch.

Might it be possible that one’s style and scent of Communication have the power to expedite a Response?  George Bernard Shaw said, “Most people do not pray, they only beg.” And while on occasion you might acknowledge the outstretched hand of a beggar, you’d much more likely be lured to the sweet sage and song on the other side of the block.

California’s oldest living tree is a Jurupa Oak in Riverside County, California reported to be 13,000 years old. If you were to plant a Juropa Oak seedling in the surrounding terrain, experts doubt it would take root. In fact, you’d have to travel 30 miles to find another Juropa Oak. Such is this particular 13,000 year old tree’s amazing ability to last through the ages in conditions not favorable to its existance. What can be learned from an organism with such endurance?

When the trunk of the Jurupa Oak is destroyed by burning, new shoots pop up all around it from the roots.  Similarly, pine tree cones will store their seeds for years until the heat of forest fires causes the pines to open up and release the seeds. In other words, the most enduring species in our world, things that live thousands of years, depend on fire to trigger regeneration and rebirth.

In 2009, so many of us experienced a different kind of fire that incinerated our finances if not our emotional well-being.  In the heat of the moment, these fires are brutally painful. But in the years to come, we will perceive the smoldering fires of 2009 as necessary means to a brilliant and beautiful future. Here are 3 reasons why…

1. New Direction

For so many of us, it feels like someone took a blowtorch to our savings and nest egg which are now smoldering remnants of what once was a healthy forest of assets. We can be pissed and bitter for so long but notice how the heat of those emotions, as they effect the pine cone, can also reveal within you new life, new freedom, a new path…so long as you get back on your feet and move the ball forward. S.I. Hayakawa said, “Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’ ”

2. Enriched Life Experience

I couldn’t help but look at the above picture of the 13,000 year old Juropa Oak with reverence. For cryin’ out loud, the thing has been around since the Ice Age. There are a certain group of humans who you might say have a durability comparable to the ancient Juropa Oak. The Abkhasian* people of Central Asia routinely live into their 90’s and 100’s and often report only having been sick once in an entire lifetime. Part of their ability to live happily with great longevity is the fact that in their culture, one’s status increases with age. The elderly are seen as beautiful with silver hair and wrinkles being signs of wisdom and maturity. In the Abkhasian language, there is not a term for “old people.” Rather, they are referred to as “long-living people.” *

Things are much different in America where we tend to totally forget about our elders. Why? Compared to the Abkhasians, we have litte respect for life experience whether in the old, middle aged, or young.  Any hardship you have endured adds to your character, wisdom, and perspective. And anyone who knows their ass from their elbow will, like the Abkhasian, respect one who has been through hell and highwater. Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

3. Stronger Relationships

The Vilcabamban* people of Ecuador’s Andes Mountains are another indigenous culture that is revered for its peoples’ ability to live happy lives deep into old age. One notable quality of the Vilcabambans…they don’t armor themselves against the pain of life and “they have not withdrawn from one another into shells.” They consider struggle to be part of the process. The Vilcabamban live in close-knit families and help one another through tough times. “Their spirits are connected to each other, their smiles all the deeper for all they have known and shared.”  *

Like the Vilcabamban, the 13,000 Juropa Oak is in essence more than one tree, it is a close family of trees having cloned itself many times over. And that family of trees, in spite of residing in over-populated over-polluted Southern California, lives on year after year. That is the most important lesson that we can learn from this ancient tree. To endure life successfully means not that you have avoided the greatest hardships and dodged the hottest fires. Rather, you’ve used those hardships and fires to make you stronger, to reveal new emotions, to deepen your roots, to enhance your relations.

*from HEALTHY AT 100 by John Robbins

I once heard Shiva tell a story of a very senior teacher farting while lying on top of her during an adjustment… which must have been the most awkward thing ever. So I hesitate to lie on students. But I’d like to share something even more awkward.

Being my first week back teaching in Arizona, I’ve really tried to be hands on with my yoga students. Last week, I gave one student a nice adjustment in shoulder stand.

“How does that feel?” I asked as I lifted her ankles thus lengthening her spine.

She didn’t answer. I tried to be nurturing and said, “Feels good when it lengthens,  doesn’t it?”

She still didn’t answer and I assumed she was loving it.

Finishing the adjustment, I said to her in a fun and self-deprecating manner, “Some people just call me Rod.” Then, I rested her legs softly back on the ground.  It was an inside yoga thing, with my jokingly referring to myself as blind yoga master Rod Sorenstein of Northern Minnesota who supposedly has a magical (non-sexual) touch with his adjustments, except when he accidentally touches you in the wrong place. “Ah Rod, that’s not my hip…” Rumor has it crazy ol’ Rod really can see. But that’s for another Schtick.

Little did I know that calling myself “Rod” was a double entendre. Not until 20 minutes after class, as I was driving away from the studio, did I realize that my Flip video camera was in my front pocket rubbing against the lady’s thighs during that shoulder stand adjustment. It was too late. Rumor had it she ran out of the studio, leaving her mat behind, and muttering something about “Jewish men and their facocta tiny schmekels!!”

*****

The other day I heard Deepak Chopra on NPR. He was buzzing about his new iPhone App, and he made a very interesting comment. “Technology is part of our world and we have to embrace it.” I was sort of expecting a spiritual guru like Deepak (who I admire) to encourage less use of technology and question the overwhelming popularity of the smart phone.   Which furthered my confusion.

In 2010, you can rest assured, there will be a faster, smaller iPhone that can do anything anytime… and a sweeter Tweeter that can be updated subconsciously while you sleep…and a Google technology that will utilize a futuristic algorithm to search out your perfect lover. All of these things will enhance our lives in so many ways. But rest assured, someone will think twice about sitting in your lap if your crotch keeps making “chirping” sounds. And someone might just hesitate to give you a juicy yoga hug if that tiny protruding object in your jeans is ever the source of their confusion. Is that sacrifice really worth it? Because God knows there is no application, program, or gadget that can replace the warmth of embrace, the ahhhh of love, the inspiration of Contact.