IF IT’S YOUR FIRST TIME TO MY SITE… Welcome! So great to meet you and welcome to my world where chocolate, wine, music (and really naughty humor) are gateways to the magic and beauty of the present moment. Here’s a blog post that shares my philosophy with links to some humor, tunes, and the world’s best chocolate. My mantra: livin’ the good life is livin’ the moment.

Life has never been better because for the first time in a long time, I have a puppy. He’s a 9 week old lab pup named Gibson (see pic during his first haircut which he needed b/c he got peed on by his 2 year old lab cousin Cooper).

Formerly a germ freak, I don’t care that Gibson was tongue-shining his cousin Cooper’s ballsack before jumping into my lap and licking me on the lips.  Always concerned with cleanliness, I’m the first to admit Gibson has left my condo looking (and sometimes smelling) like the upper deck men’s bathroom at an Oakland Raider game. Never would I have thought that watching in real-time a living being drop a deuce on my kitchen floor would actually provoke laughter if not the laughter of a desperate dog dad with limited knowledge on training a puppy.

My formula for happiness has been reduced to lying on the floor, getting licked and nibbled, and staring into the eyes of another being whose only worry in the world is to eat, play, and sleep.

******

Govan Brown* was a local legend in New York City. A city bus driver for more than 20 years who retired in 1988, Govan drove over 220,000 miles and was almost always pleasant, cheerful, and personable. It might be hard to understand how Govan found all of the above in driving a bus through the worst possible traffic, but one man’s grid is another man’s labyrinth. Said his boss, “Govan so mastered being happy with himself, happy with life, and happy with people that nobody can touch him.”

Maybe you know someone (or maybe you are) like Govan Brown…lucky enough to have found their unique place in the world. A Harvard psychologist, Howard Gardner, researched those rare people who, like Govan Brown, have found overwhelming joy in seemingly underwhelming careers. There are 3 factors that go into finding such joy: Engagement, excellence, ethics.  Govan strived for excellence by entertaining his passengers with a lively monologue on the places they were passing and their history, alerts of great sales, his reviews of movies at theaters they passed and highlights of museum exhibits. Ever so engaged in his daily encounters, Govan was known to greet a toddler with a handshake, spend at least two minutes giving directions to a teenager, and wish just about everyone a nice day as they disembarked. His ethics and morals were without question. As deacon of a Baptist church, Govan viewed his passengers, too, as a “flock” whose needs he tended.

Lying on the floor yesterday morning practicing yoga,  Gibson, the tiny lab pup, began licking my face as if he hadn’t been loved in 30 years let alone his 9 weeks of life. Thanks to Gibson, I now understand Govan Brown’s secret. Life is less about climbing the  peaks and more about finding the grooves.

*Govan Brown info inspired by NY TIMES (11-15-08)

Visit here to read the NY Times story: When Chocolate and Chakras Collide

It’s not easy being a newborn baby and trying to communicate. A baby cries, smiles, lunges, lurches, bangs, and shrieks hoping to get across a message and receive a response from Mommy or Daddy. In the same way, an adult burns sage, sings hymns, prays, invokes and shouts…trying to communicate with the Divine.

Some of us are like difficult babies, whining and whimpering in our pursuit of revelation.  And some of us are easier, finding Perfection in a warm blanket on a rainy Sunday, or a delicious plate of amatriciana when you’re mouthwatering hungry.

So here’s my question. What kind of baby are YOU?

–Happy-Go-Lucky Baby: you take life as it comes, usually smiling, happy for the warm day, the new face, the hot bath, the simple pleasures. Some common problems and how you respond: Your flight is canceled and you need to spend the night in O’Hare? You’ll just get work done. The Viagara doesn’t seem to be working anymore? Being the sweety that you are, you’ll keep things alive and well by giving the gift of Janeson Rayne’s innovative Magic Banana.

–Dirty Baby: you are ahead of the curve, walking at 6 months, talking at 9 months, mustache at 5 years old, hitting on 2nd grade teacher at 8 years old, virginity out the window at 12 years old. Your flight is canceled and you need to spend the night in O’Hare? Nothing phases you so long as you got a few blankets and the imagination. The Vigara doesn’t seem to be working anymore? Heck, who needs Viagara when you got a Marlboro 110, a slice of raw bacon covered in Tabasco, and a couple spritzes of One Man Show.

–Colic Baby: you have, shall we say, digestive issues and what some might call The Dirty Elves (see above pic) working overtime in your lowers. Your flight is canceled and you need to spend the night in O’Hare?  You clear out the waiting area with a Starbucks Squealer. The Viagra doesn’t seem to be working anymore? Doesn’t matter. Nobody wants to date you anyway as every time you go on a date, you subject the other to the Pomodoro Punchout or the Chardonnay Cooker or worst of all, The Dried Apricot Annihilation.

*****

Thinking back on the last few years, I realized my faith was virtually nonexistent. I worked, traveled, networked…but rarely prayed. I was like the guy at the gym with the giant upper body and tiny chicken legs…way out of balance. Without some way of letting go and establishing belief in something (anything) greater than one’s own self, our annoying vibration is no different and no less disgusting than a Burrito Butt Belch.

Might it be possible that one’s style and scent of Communication have the power to expedite a Response?  George Bernard Shaw said, “Most people do not pray, they only beg.” And while on occasion you might acknowledge the outstretched hand of a beggar, you’d much more likely be lured to the sweet sage and song on the other side of the block.

California’s oldest living tree is a Jurupa Oak in Riverside County, California reported to be 13,000 years old. If you were to plant a Juropa Oak seedling in the surrounding terrain, experts doubt it would take root. In fact, you’d have to travel 30 miles to find another Juropa Oak. Such is this particular 13,000 year old tree’s amazing ability to last through the ages in conditions not favorable to its existance. What can be learned from an organism with such endurance?

When the trunk of the Jurupa Oak is destroyed by burning, new shoots pop up all around it from the roots.  Similarly, pine tree cones will store their seeds for years until the heat of forest fires causes the pines to open up and release the seeds. In other words, the most enduring species in our world, things that live thousands of years, depend on fire to trigger regeneration and rebirth.

In 2009, so many of us experienced a different kind of fire that incinerated our finances if not our emotional well-being.  In the heat of the moment, these fires are brutally painful. But in the years to come, we will perceive the smoldering fires of 2009 as necessary means to a brilliant and beautiful future. Here are 3 reasons why…

1. New Direction

For so many of us, it feels like someone took a blowtorch to our savings and nest egg which are now smoldering remnants of what once was a healthy forest of assets. We can be pissed and bitter for so long but notice how the heat of those emotions, as they effect the pine cone, can also reveal within you new life, new freedom, a new path…so long as you get back on your feet and move the ball forward. S.I. Hayakawa said, “Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’ ”

2. Enriched Life Experience

I couldn’t help but look at the above picture of the 13,000 year old Juropa Oak with reverence. For cryin’ out loud, the thing has been around since the Ice Age. There are a certain group of humans who you might say have a durability comparable to the ancient Juropa Oak. The Abkhasian* people of Central Asia routinely live into their 90’s and 100’s and often report only having been sick once in an entire lifetime. Part of their ability to live happily with great longevity is the fact that in their culture, one’s status increases with age. The elderly are seen as beautiful with silver hair and wrinkles being signs of wisdom and maturity. In the Abkhasian language, there is not a term for “old people.” Rather, they are referred to as “long-living people.” *

Things are much different in America where we tend to totally forget about our elders. Why? Compared to the Abkhasians, we have litte respect for life experience whether in the old, middle aged, or young.  Any hardship you have endured adds to your character, wisdom, and perspective. And anyone who knows their ass from their elbow will, like the Abkhasian, respect one who has been through hell and highwater. Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

3. Stronger Relationships

The Vilcabamban* people of Ecuador’s Andes Mountains are another indigenous culture that is revered for its peoples’ ability to live happy lives deep into old age. One notable quality of the Vilcabambans…they don’t armor themselves against the pain of life and “they have not withdrawn from one another into shells.” They consider struggle to be part of the process. The Vilcabamban live in close-knit families and help one another through tough times. “Their spirits are connected to each other, their smiles all the deeper for all they have known and shared.”  *

Like the Vilcabamban, the 13,000 Juropa Oak is in essence more than one tree, it is a close family of trees having cloned itself many times over. And that family of trees, in spite of residing in over-populated over-polluted Southern California, lives on year after year. That is the most important lesson that we can learn from this ancient tree. To endure life successfully means not that you have avoided the greatest hardships and dodged the hottest fires. Rather, you’ve used those hardships and fires to make you stronger, to reveal new emotions, to deepen your roots, to enhance your relations.

*from HEALTHY AT 100 by John Robbins

I once heard Shiva tell a story of a very senior teacher farting while lying on top of her during an adjustment… which must have been the most awkward thing ever. So I hesitate to lie on students. But I’d like to share something even more awkward.

Being my first week back teaching in Arizona, I’ve really tried to be hands on with my yoga students. Last week, I gave one student a nice adjustment in shoulder stand.

“How does that feel?” I asked as I lifted her ankles thus lengthening her spine.

She didn’t answer. I tried to be nurturing and said, “Feels good when it lengthens,  doesn’t it?”

She still didn’t answer and I assumed she was loving it.

Finishing the adjustment, I said to her in a fun and self-deprecating manner, “Some people just call me Rod.” Then, I rested her legs softly back on the ground.  It was an inside yoga thing, with my jokingly referring to myself as blind yoga master Rod Sorenstein of Northern Minnesota who supposedly has a magical (non-sexual) touch with his adjustments, except when he accidentally touches you in the wrong place. “Ah Rod, that’s not my hip…” Rumor has it crazy ol’ Rod really can see. But that’s for another Schtick.

Little did I know that calling myself “Rod” was a double entendre. Not until 20 minutes after class, as I was driving away from the studio, did I realize that my Flip video camera was in my front pocket rubbing against the lady’s thighs during that shoulder stand adjustment. It was too late. Rumor had it she ran out of the studio, leaving her mat behind, and muttering something about “Jewish men and their facocta tiny schmekels!!”

*****

The other day I heard Deepak Chopra on NPR. He was buzzing about his new iPhone App, and he made a very interesting comment. “Technology is part of our world and we have to embrace it.” I was sort of expecting a spiritual guru like Deepak (who I admire) to encourage less use of technology and question the overwhelming popularity of the smart phone.   Which furthered my confusion.

In 2010, you can rest assured, there will be a faster, smaller iPhone that can do anything anytime… and a sweeter Tweeter that can be updated subconsciously while you sleep…and a Google technology that will utilize a futuristic algorithm to search out your perfect lover. All of these things will enhance our lives in so many ways. But rest assured, someone will think twice about sitting in your lap if your crotch keeps making “chirping” sounds. And someone might just hesitate to give you a juicy yoga hug if that tiny protruding object in your jeans is ever the source of their confusion. Is that sacrifice really worth it? Because God knows there is no application, program, or gadget that can replace the warmth of embrace, the ahhhh of love, the inspiration of Contact.

My friend recently shared a story that put the grind of 2009 into beautiful perspective. He described lying on his bed enduring a hot summer day. He had nothing better to do than watch flies succumb one after another to a fly trap. The flies would be attracted to the trap’s scent only to get stuck, whip themselves into a frenzy trying to escape, and die a slow death. My friend recalled with awe this one fly that reacted differently. Rather than freaking out and whipping itself into a frenzy, this fly stayed calm.

Step by step, the fly picked up and cleaned its leg and then picked up and cleaned its other leg and did it again and again until it finally was free. My friend recalled how a creature which epitomizes filth and annoyance actually displayed a certain elegance and beauty in its resolve to survive. Which is just the thing we lost in America during the economic boom of the early 2000’s. We were gluttonous in our consumption, in our over-construction, in our values. There was no sense of beauty in our march toward success, wealth, and pleasure.

And now, so much has disappeared, so many homes, things, relationships. And many of us face the same predicament as the trapped fly. Those who freak out will further their trouble. But those who proceed with grace, dignity, and even elegance will most certainly recover and slowly but surely rediscover their wings.

Herein lies the question. If you’re halfway normal, you’re struggling, grinding, busting your butt to make ends meet. In such a state, who cares about beauty?! And how in the world can you possibly be elegant?!?! Following are 3 tips:

1. Service

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” MLK

The same friend who told me the story about the fly told me that whenever he feels out of balance, anxious, and lacking, he plugs into the needs of his community and helps someone out. It’s his way of staying centered and putting everything into perspective.

2. Pride

“The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it.” Diana Vreeland

One thing I’ve learned from my 91 year old grandma…whenever she leaves her retirement home, whether to go to breakfast or take a ride in the car, she always always always dresses up fancy in her scarves and slacks and coats and purses. This is not a matter of her clothes being expensive or inexpensive. Rather she has great pride in spite of her aging body and fading twilight. And no matter how broke, no matter how old, no matter how exhausted you might be, nobody has the right to your pride. Nobody!

3. Touch

Have you ever taken a yoga class and gotten a nice adjustment by the teacher? Or better yet, have you had a friend give you a little shoulder massage when you were really stressed? There is nothing more elegant, graceful, and wonderful than human touch. Like the most gorgeous dress or the most extravagant coat, a loving touch can take your breath away, cause time to stop, and if not for a moment, allow all worries to subside.

Like the trapped fly, take one graceful, firm, empowered step at a time. It might take months or years to recover. But if nothing else, let your recovery be filled with dignity.  As Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

Have you ever been attracted to your cousin? Don’t lie. A recent NY Times article shared an increasing trend taking place all across our great nation. The marriage of first cousins.

Should you be pondering having kids with your first cousin, the article mentions chances are slim your children will be born with genetic deformities common to incest such as spina bifida and cystic fibrosis. Thank God!  You don’t need to feel so badly about the fact that on Thanksgiving you asked your 28 year old cousin to sit on your lap while watching football at Granny’s house. Breathe a sigh of relief. This behavior is happening everywhere. Let go of the guilt you might have been feeling for adding a little tongue to your cousin’s holiday feast. According to the NY Times, you’re actually not a twisted, repulsive, redneck scumbag.

So many strange things happen during Thanksgiving. When around family, our darkest issues, fears, and doubts tend to erupt.  The tumult of puberty, thought to be extinct, rears its ugly head. Insecurities, thought to be locked away for good, bust loose. Is it so far-fetched in the swirling mess of emotion that is Thanksgiving dinner, one might just find their cousin to be attractive?

*****

Family-driven emotional chaos is not exclusive to Thanksgiving. Each and everyone us has a part of our being snagged in childhood. It’s called infantilism. Best described by Anais Nin, “We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

So if you have lingering frustrations from last week’s familial Thanksgiving encounters, go easy on yourself. Hinder and shame that childish part of you, and it will act like the crankiest baby on the longest night. Embrace and nurture that part of you, and the fire of youth, while at times with a bite, nonetheless will forever burn bright.

For more twisted info with inspirational endings, check out my book Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment

Last week I mentioned the world’s most eligible bachelor, Juanta de Santos de Carlos de Felipe III of Argentina. I had the opportunity to interview Juanta for my blog. (Please be patient with his broken English).

Q: Juanta, you recently called yourself the world’s most eligible bachelor. If I was a woman, why would I want to be with you?

A:  As we say in Argentina, “Yo soy muy grande en todos partes” which in English means “Come live in my heart, it is a mansion of love.”

Q: Juanta, why are you still a bachelor?

A:  I am looking perfect American woman. I still no find.

Q: And what of your personal fortune?

A: I just earned $113 million settlement from royal family when I was run over by Prince’s gay son at trailer park. I don’t know how to spend. I already give $10 million to poor, $5 million to hospital, $3 million to cure cancer,  what else can I do? I need woman to spend my money.

Q:  Juanta, why were you at a trailer park?

A:

Q: Juanta, What kind of woman are you looking for?

A:  Woman who like yoga. Woman who travel and come to my country Argentina. Woman who like wine.  Woman who like cuddle.

Q: And how young or old would your ideal woman be?

A:  I only 24 years old. I think I like older woman. 50 years old? Yes! 40 years old? Yes! 30 years old? Yes!  18-25 years old? Too young!

Q: Juanta…tell me more of what you’re looking for in a woman?

A: Perfect body to me no es real. I like full figured woman. We have expression in Argentina… “Tocar el sol es poner la lengua in la boca de una persona muy borracha!”  which means “I dream of your body night and day, I love you for who you are!”

Being a lover of yoga, Juanta will be joining us on my upcoming Yoga + Wine retreat to Argentina with wine champion and Bliss Flow Yoga founder Angela Gargano.  If you’re ready for a food & wine lover’s adventure of a lifetime, join us this April 15-22 in Argentina.  Visit here for more info.

And take note, Juanta will be with us for the post Argentina journey to Rio de Janeiro April 22-25.

As we round the corner into a new decade, how will we look back on this first decade of the 2000’s? I think it will be as monumental as the 1960’s or the 1940’s. With 9/11, two wars, and the election of an African-American president, some pretty significant stuff took place over the past 10 years. But there are 3 pressing sociological issues that I believe will make or break us in the new decade.  One is obvious, one is gaining notoriety, and the other is still a bit beyond the horizon. Following are these issues:

1. Food

Last night my girlfriend and I had a pleasant dinner of ground beef, a salad, and a nice Cabernet.  Oh so delicious. 2 hours later, we sat on the couch dumbfounded, awestruck, my girlfriend reduced to tears. Why? We just watched the movie Food, INC which shares the sheer horror, abuse, and disgust of the food industry. I’m not gonna lie to you. I love a good burger, a steak, rotisserie chicken, you name it. But after Food Inc, I’m confused. Something has to change. Consider the following:

–More than 9 billion chickens and turkeys are slaughtered each year. As the Humane Society Reports, “They’re shackled upside down, paralyzed by electrified water and dragged over mechanical throat-cutting blades … all while conscious. Millions of birds each year miss the blades and drown in tanks of scalding water.”

–Crated calves are tethered by the neck, pigs in severe confinement bite the metal bars of their crates, and hens get trapped and can even be impaled in their cages. These animals can barely move for months on end.

–90% of consumed meat in this country comes from factory farmed raised animals who are pumped full of antibiotics, hormones & corn all of which are unnatural & harmful to the animals.  Chickens have become so genetically modified to have larger breasts because that is what the American consumer wants, that they are unable to stand up for longer than a few seconds and spend the majority of their 40 day life-span sitting in their own feces.  Unless you get your meat, milk, and eggs from an independent family farm, this is the meat you eat. *

2. Health Insurance

It’s not just the food industry that is troublesome. We all know about the health care crisis. Much of it is caused by greed.  Consider this: 47 million Americans were without healthcare insurance in 2008. However, the heads of the major healthcare insurance companies earned as follows:

-CEO of United Health Group:  $124.8 million
-CEO of Aetna:  $57 million
-CEO of Cigna:  $42 million.

While these executives were padding their bottom line, there were 22,000 “excess deaths” last year amongst Americans between the ages of 25-64 because they were denied health insurance.**  The healthcare crisis is clearly at the forefront of everyone’s mind.  While it seems we are moving in the right direction, try telling that to the families of the 22,000 people who perished in 2008.

3. Endangerment of the Present Moment

While more abstract than the food industry or the healthcare crisis, something we’ll begin to hear a lot more about in the 2010’s is the endangerment of the present moment. As Facebook and Twitter take over and as the iPhone and Blackberry become smaller, faster, and cheaper, our free moments will suffer the sad fate of the polar bear or any endangered species. Is it me or is every waking second spent texting, emailing, websurfing, status updating, tweeting, etc.  I emphasize in my book Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment that if we’re not careful, entire days go by without one single memory.

Think about it. A normal person, take me as an example, wakes up, gets right on the iphone, answers emails, talks on the cell phone on the way to work, does emails all day long at work, talks on the cell phone on the way home, and returns home to surf the web, play on Facebook, talk on the phone, watch TV. There’s less and less time free of techonology. There’s less and less time to daydream, to actually talk to the person in front of you in line at Starbucks, to lie down for a snooze, to savor life. The busier we get, the less memories we have to cherish. Right now, we don’t think twice about it. But in the very near future, I believe there will be a desperation for the present moment, for richer memories, for the very essence of life.

*http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/force_fed_animals/
**http://www.nchc.org/facts/coverage.shtml

I’ve received lots of crazy emails but nothing as crazy and vulgar as one I received a week ago. It is a company that makes necklaces of a certain body part. I can only imagine the inventor or artist who hatched the idea. He must have been on a plane, woke from a dream, and quickly sketched down the thought while whispering, “Oh my God Oh my God where’s my pen where’s my pen…this is it!!!!”

What is our world coming to?

*****

I recently went to a doctor of sorts (more of the witch variety) who gave me some interesting nutrition advice. He said that one takes on the characteristics of what she eats. For that reason, he told me to stay away from birds and fish which are overridden with anxiety. Meanwhile he advised a steady diet of beef to get grounded and manly.  That advice was absolutely contradictory to the advice I got from a nutritionist who said to never eat red meat and that I should stick to a diet of fish and vegetables.

I’m confused! I don’t know what’s good for me, who to listen to, and if I should be a pescatarian, vegan, or burger n’ beer man.  So many people offering so much advice. “Running is good for you.” “Running is terrible for you.” “Hot Yoga is the best.” “Hot yoga is dirty and germ-infested.”  “Yeah Dave’s Guide is freakin hilarious!” “Yeah Dave’s Guide is t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e!”

Now that I think about it, my hat is off to the crazy inventor who went with his gut (if not his loins) and followed through with the vulva necklace. We could all benefit, at least sometimes, from tuning out the conflicting advice of those around us and listening more carefully to the voice within us. And if that voice be just a tiny bit corrupt, well….Emerson said it perfectly:

“But if I am the Devil’s child, I will live then from the Devil. No law   can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it.”