The Schtick “All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas Layin’ In The Sun, Talkin’ ‘Bout The Things They Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done… But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas All Ran Away And Hid From One Little Did.” Shel Silverstein There was a very nice boy named John Blaustein with whom I grew up. We did all the things 6 year olds do together [...]
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The Schtick (Gambling)
The Schtick “Let your soul be your bookie.” -Anonymous I walked past his infuriated wife dragging their 6 year old son out the door. Nervous and concerned, I entered my friend’s home (let’s call him Bill) to find a shattered beer bottle, a piece of pizza dripping down the TV screen, a screaming toddler with [...]
The Schtick (Drug Bust)
The Schtick CHAKRA–A sanskrit word meaning “wheel” or “circle”; usually refers to the centers or points of spiritual power that resides in or compose the human astral body. On yesterday’s local news, Johnny Chakra was arrested on charges of possession of crack cocaine and 175 lbs of low grade marijuana known as “dirt” (street value [...]
The Schtick (Erotic Nurse)
The Schtick Several years ago I endured an ulcerative condition. The doctor loaded me up on 6, 8, 10, and ultimately 12 pills a day. I’d had enough. So I went to a medical doctor with a holistic approach. We took a step back and looked at the events and patterns in my life that [...]
The Schtick (Jewish Cowboy)
The Schtick “The loneliness you get by the sea is personal and alive. It doesn’t subdue you and make you feel abject. It’s stimulating loneliness.” -Anne Lindbergh We are bombarded by so many advertisements, phone calls and emails every day. In the maelstrom of stimulation, we are often left confused about what’s up or down, [...]
The Schtick (Threesome)
The Schtick THE TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN ME FOR A THREESOME: 10. You like the idea of white powder to LIFT your spirits before some very physical activity. 9. You’re willing to pay for 4 days of Three Way action. 8. You want to “heat” things up a bit and learn a [...]
The Schtick (Mistaken for a Woman)
The Schtick “Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?” -Bill Maher Nearly 2 out of 3 Americans are overweight or obese. The pot bellies are growing, the manboobs are sagging, the tushies are inflating. The yogis would tell you there’s another place we carry weight [...]
The Schtick (Mrs. MILF)
The Schtick “Lust, anger, and greed. These three are the soul-destroying gates of hell.” -Bhagavad Gita Often described as kryptonite to the soul, lust manifests itself in many forms from nudie magazines to extramarital affairs to exotic toys. Represented in Greek mythology by the god EROS and in Celtic mythology by the god AONGHUS, lust [...]
The Schtick (Thrillseeker)
Just this morning I was at my favorite breakfast spot when a person asked me if I had surfed today. Oh man how I would’ve loved to have said “totally dude”. But instead I had to practice what the yogis call “satya” and not bullshit this guy. No I don’t surf. I might look outdoorsy [...]
The Schtick (Dream Come True)
The Schtick “Probably the saddest thing you’ll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it little friend.” -Jack Handy Growing up in the creative madness that is Los Angeles, I always dreamed of taking my shots on goal as a novelist, screenwriter, actor, movie producer, etc. So over the course of the [...]
