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California’s oldest living tree is a Jurupa Oak in Riverside County, California reported to be 13,000 years old. If you were to plant a Juropa Oak seedling in the surrounding terrain, experts doubt it would take root. In fact, you’d have to travel 30 miles to find another Juropa Oak. Such is this particular 13,000 year old tree’s amazing ability to last through the ages in conditions not favorable to its existance. What can be learned from an organism with such endurance?

When the trunk of the Jurupa Oak is destroyed by burning, new shoots pop up all around it from the roots.  Similarly, pine tree cones will store their seeds for years until the heat of forest fires causes the pines to open up and release the seeds. In other words, the most enduring species in our world, things that live thousands of years, depend on fire to trigger regeneration and rebirth.

In 2009, so many of us experienced a different kind of fire that incinerated our finances if not our emotional well-being.  In the heat of the moment, these fires are brutally painful. But in the years to come, we will perceive the smoldering fires of 2009 as necessary means to a brilliant and beautiful future. Here are 3 reasons why…

1. New Direction

For so many of us, it feels like someone took a blowtorch to our savings and nest egg which are now smoldering remnants of what once was a healthy forest of assets. We can be pissed and bitter for so long but notice how the heat of those emotions, as they effect the pine cone, can also reveal within you new life, new freedom, a new path…so long as you get back on your feet and move the ball forward. S.I. Hayakawa said, “Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’ ”

2. Enriched Life Experience

I couldn’t help but look at the above picture of the 13,000 year old Juropa Oak with reverence. For cryin’ out loud, the thing has been around since the Ice Age. There are a certain group of humans who you might say have a durability comparable to the ancient Juropa Oak. The Abkhasian* people of Central Asia routinely live into their 90’s and 100’s and often report only having been sick once in an entire lifetime. Part of their ability to live happily with great longevity is the fact that in their culture, one’s status increases with age. The elderly are seen as beautiful with silver hair and wrinkles being signs of wisdom and maturity. In the Abkhasian language, there is not a term for “old people.” Rather, they are referred to as “long-living people.” *

Things are much different in America where we tend to totally forget about our elders. Why? Compared to the Abkhasians, we have litte respect for life experience whether in the old, middle aged, or young.  Any hardship you have endured adds to your character, wisdom, and perspective. And anyone who knows their ass from their elbow will, like the Abkhasian, respect one who has been through hell and highwater. Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

3. Stronger Relationships

The Vilcabamban* people of Ecuador’s Andes Mountains are another indigenous culture that is revered for its peoples’ ability to live happy lives deep into old age. One notable quality of the Vilcabambans…they don’t armor themselves against the pain of life and “they have not withdrawn from one another into shells.” They consider struggle to be part of the process. The Vilcabamban live in close-knit families and help one another through tough times. “Their spirits are connected to each other, their smiles all the deeper for all they have known and shared.”  *

Like the Vilcabamban, the 13,000 Juropa Oak is in essence more than one tree, it is a close family of trees having cloned itself many times over. And that family of trees, in spite of residing in over-populated over-polluted Southern California, lives on year after year. That is the most important lesson that we can learn from this ancient tree. To endure life successfully means not that you have avoided the greatest hardships and dodged the hottest fires. Rather, you’ve used those hardships and fires to make you stronger, to reveal new emotions, to deepen your roots, to enhance your relations.

*from HEALTHY AT 100 by John Robbins

My friend recently shared a story that put the grind of 2009 into beautiful perspective. He described lying on his bed enduring a hot summer day. He had nothing better to do than watch flies succumb one after another to a fly trap. The flies would be attracted to the trap’s scent only to get stuck, whip themselves into a frenzy trying to escape, and die a slow death. My friend recalled with awe this one fly that reacted differently. Rather than freaking out and whipping itself into a frenzy, this fly stayed calm.

Step by step, the fly picked up and cleaned its leg and then picked up and cleaned its other leg and did it again and again until it finally was free. My friend recalled how a creature which epitomizes filth and annoyance actually displayed a certain elegance and beauty in its resolve to survive. Which is just the thing we lost in America during the economic boom of the early 2000’s. We were gluttonous in our consumption, in our over-construction, in our values. There was no sense of beauty in our march toward success, wealth, and pleasure.

And now, so much has disappeared, so many homes, things, relationships. And many of us face the same predicament as the trapped fly. Those who freak out will further their trouble. But those who proceed with grace, dignity, and even elegance will most certainly recover and slowly but surely rediscover their wings.

Herein lies the question. If you’re halfway normal, you’re struggling, grinding, busting your butt to make ends meet. In such a state, who cares about beauty?! And how in the world can you possibly be elegant?!?! Following are 3 tips:

1. Service

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” MLK

The same friend who told me the story about the fly told me that whenever he feels out of balance, anxious, and lacking, he plugs into the needs of his community and helps someone out. It’s his way of staying centered and putting everything into perspective.

2. Pride

“The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it.” Diana Vreeland

One thing I’ve learned from my 91 year old grandma…whenever she leaves her retirement home, whether to go to breakfast or take a ride in the car, she always always always dresses up fancy in her scarves and slacks and coats and purses. This is not a matter of her clothes being expensive or inexpensive. Rather she has great pride in spite of her aging body and fading twilight. And no matter how broke, no matter how old, no matter how exhausted you might be, nobody has the right to your pride. Nobody!

3. Touch

Have you ever taken a yoga class and gotten a nice adjustment by the teacher? Or better yet, have you had a friend give you a little shoulder massage when you were really stressed? There is nothing more elegant, graceful, and wonderful than human touch. Like the most gorgeous dress or the most extravagant coat, a loving touch can take your breath away, cause time to stop, and if not for a moment, allow all worries to subside.

Like the trapped fly, take one graceful, firm, empowered step at a time. It might take months or years to recover. But if nothing else, let your recovery be filled with dignity.  As Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

Last week I mentioned the world’s most eligible bachelor, Juanta de Santos de Carlos de Felipe III of Argentina. I had the opportunity to interview Juanta for my blog. (Please be patient with his broken English).

Q: Juanta, you recently called yourself the world’s most eligible bachelor. If I was a woman, why would I want to be with you?

A:  As we say in Argentina, “Yo soy muy grande en todos partes” which in English means “Come live in my heart, it is a mansion of love.”

Q: Juanta, why are you still a bachelor?

A:  I am looking perfect American woman. I still no find.

Q: And what of your personal fortune?

A: I just earned $113 million settlement from royal family when I was run over by Prince’s gay son at trailer park. I don’t know how to spend. I already give $10 million to poor, $5 million to hospital, $3 million to cure cancer,  what else can I do? I need woman to spend my money.

Q:  Juanta, why were you at a trailer park?

A:

Q: Juanta, What kind of woman are you looking for?

A:  Woman who like yoga. Woman who travel and come to my country Argentina. Woman who like wine.  Woman who like cuddle.

Q: And how young or old would your ideal woman be?

A:  I only 24 years old. I think I like older woman. 50 years old? Yes! 40 years old? Yes! 30 years old? Yes!  18-25 years old? Too young!

Q: Juanta…tell me more of what you’re looking for in a woman?

A: Perfect body to me no es real. I like full figured woman. We have expression in Argentina… “Tocar el sol es poner la lengua in la boca de una persona muy borracha!”  which means “I dream of your body night and day, I love you for who you are!”

Being a lover of yoga, Juanta will be joining us on my upcoming Yoga + Wine retreat to Argentina with wine champion and Bliss Flow Yoga founder Angela Gargano.  If you’re ready for a food & wine lover’s adventure of a lifetime, join us this April 15-22 in Argentina.  Visit here for more info.

And take note, Juanta will be with us for the post Argentina journey to Rio de Janeiro April 22-25.