Return of the White Snake

Ten or so years ago, I was a brand new yoga teacher at a ritzy health club.

I happened to be wearing running shorts and was not yet aware that certain yoga poses, when demonstrated by a man in loose fitting shorts, expose certain parts of the body.

During a morning class, I picked up my leg by hooking by two big fingers around my big toe. And then I revolved my leg to the right.

Watching my students’ suddenly amplified reactions, you’d have thought I did the most amazing pose ever.

One lady’s eyes just about popped out of the sockets.

Another lady looked at her friend and whispered something.

Another lady covered her eyes in disgust.

I thought to myself, “Wow David, you are really busting out some sweet yoga moves.”

Little did I know.

A week later I was called into the office.

The manager sat me down and hesitantly explained, “Ah, David. I, ah, got a complaint from a client, who, ah, took your yoga class. She, ah, said that she was offended by the, ah, revealing nature of your, ah, clothing.”

I didn’t understand.

The manager continued, “Little pinkie took a look around and we the staff need little pinkie to stay hidden, especially when the owner and his wife are on premises as they are today.”

But I still was unclear. Why was the manager being so abstract?

Finally, the manager blurted out, “Keep your —- in your pants. If this happens again, I’ll personally lead you and little pinkie straight out the door!”

Soon thereafter, my good friend Max began calling me White Snake. And the rest is history.

Or so I thought.

*****

Last week I received an email from this aforementioned manager:

“David, long time no talk. Hope you are well and congratulations on your success in the yoga world. I’m applying for a new position at a new health club and was wondering if you might be able to help an old friend out and give me a recommendation.”

WTF?

I thought long and hard about this.

Why would she be contacting me, of all people?

I could only imagine the kind of recommendation I would give:

To Whom It May Concern:
I would like to give ___ ____ the highest recommendation. I recall the time she asked me to cover my balls in yoga class. She did it with great professionalism and respect. In fact, of all the times I’ve been asked to cover my balls, never has someone done it as well as ___ _____. Yours Truly”

Crazy right?!

Therefore, I have simply not responded to this request for a recommendation.

*****

As the world’s greatest free-solo climber, Alex Honnold is simply the craziest person in the world.

In 2008, he climbed the north face of Half Dome in Yosemite without any ropes or protection.

“There were times when no more than a few square inches of the climber’s body were actually in contact with the wall.

“He clung to credit card edges and protrusions the shape and size of pencil erasers, all hanging over thousands of feet of empty air.”

This feat earned Honnold a 3 year contract with North Face and featured ads for Black Diamond, climbing rope manufacturer Maxim, and shoe company La Sportiva.

Yet, his chances for a long career are bleak.

Said friend Chris Weidner, “I worry about him because there’s a real possibility he will die soon.  He takes enormous risks.”

Honhold says of death, “It would be, like, the worst four seconds of my life. But then it’s done.”

I can only imagine the expressions on the faces of those who one day will sadly watch as Alex Honnold loses his grip on a 1000 foot face.

Surely they will be something similar to the looks on the faces of those yoga students who bore witness to the White Snake that fateful morning in 2000.

****

Alex Honnold is the absolute extreme.

For him, to let go means death…

…but for most of us, to let go means surprise, awakening, a fleeting glance at the heretofore unknown.

If just for a moment we all could all loosen our grip on…if not a credit card sized ridge on Half Dome, or the expectation that our yoga teachers’ privates will be covered…then whatever it is to which we hold too tight.

As Richard Bach writes, “The current delights to set us free, if only we dare let go.”

**(Watch the Half Dome climb)