Gray-Haired Women are Sexy

“Heyyyyy, what a surprise, you look great! If it wasn’t for your gray hair, I’d totally think you were still in your twenties,” I stated enthusiastically.

“Yeah Dave,” she said angrily mocking my supposedly positive nickname.

As class ended, and she was rolling up her mat, I again shared my thoughts, “I really admire you, seriously, for going with gray. Most women would cover that up and it’s so awesome how true you are to yourself!”

I don’t think she wanted me bringing it up…another time. Evidently, thirtysomething women don’t like to be told they have gray hair, especially by men.

She just looked at me, and I felt like Sookie Stackhouse from the TV show True Blood, able to read her mind. I was certain she was thinking, “David Romanelli is a fu-kface, Why did I come here?” And then amazingly, she actually said,  “David Romanelli. You’re a fu-kface. Why did I come here?”

*****

We are so youth-obsessed in America to the extent that gray hair is perceived as a negative thing.  In fact, 75% of American women color their hair. Look up “cover gray hair” on Google and you’ll get 8,180,000 results.

One place in the world where things are different (very different) is the Caucasus region of southern Russia in a place called Abkhazia. Its has an extraordinary amount of centenarians.  Abkhazians are considered more beautiful in their old age than in their youth. To tell an elder Abkhazian that she looks young is considered an insult. To tell the same person “You’re looking old today” is a compliment.   Wrinkles are battle scars, the coolest of cool in the land of Abkhazia. Can you imagine if I would have said to the college friend mentioned above, “Not only do I love your gray hair but your wrinkles are freakin fabulous!”?

So here’s the question. If you are going to great lengths to hide your wrinkles and gray hairs, is that really healthy? Not to say changing your hair color is bad. But what is bad getting down on yourself about a streak of gray, or a new crease on your brow, or a little extra blubber on your belly.  As a wise one said, “Youth is not entirely a time of life—it is a state of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips or supple knees. It is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions…”