Pervs, Breathers, Sweaters, and Spacers

As a yoga teacher, I try to maintain a calm and happy classroom of students. This means telling the “loud breathers” to please keep it to themselves, herding “the sweaters” away from “the princesses,” suggesting somebody else’s class with “even hotter chicks” to “the pervs,” and putting the “shhhh” kabosh on “the talkers.”

But the “awkward spacers” are my greatest challenge. Over the past few weeks, a nice man with the best of intentions has been my attending my yoga class in Venice.  Being that these classes have plenty of open space in Exhale’s large studio, it’s especially awkward how the man enters the room, places his mat uncomfortably close to another student, dives into child’s pose, and causes the other student to move away.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. But just think about it for a second. You’ve taken the time and energy to come to yoga. Not easy. You’ve signed in, taken off your shoes, put away your stuff, unrolled your mat, put your magic carpet neatly folded to the side, said hello to the annoying person who asks “how are you” and turns to talk to somebody else before you answer, and endured that first and faint whiff of nastiness prevalent in any yoga room. And then some guy has the audacity to invade your space?!

It happens like clockwork every Monday and Wednesday two minutes before class at 2:28pm. In fact, it’s so predictable that yesterday I was even able to record the event on my video camera. Visit here to watch the brief video.

Is there a way to handle an “awkward spacer?” You’d have to catch him at the door which is just rude. I think this is a responsibility of the effected. Unlike The Pervs, The Breathers, or The Sweaters…the Awkward Spacers tend to be nice people who care about others and only wish for the best. They are just dimensionally disinclined and probably also tend to be close talkers, tailgaiters (while driving), bed hoggers, and when all’s said and done…lovers.

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I was recently in Las Vegas where I saw the Cirque de Soleil show featuring music by The Beatles. Being that the surviving Beatles played a major part in the show’s creation, it’s the closest I’ll ever come to seeing a live Beatles’ show. The music, the lyrics, the imagery combined for one of the great heart-opening experiences of a lifetime.

The show provided an emotional glimpse into the 1960s of which John Lennon said, “We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation, a ship going to discover the New World. And the Beatles were in the crow’s nest of that ship.” I write about in my book how The New World in the 2000′s is different than at any other time in history. The New World is not outer space or some unconquered territory in a far corner of the globe. Rather, the New World is the ever-harder-to reach Present Moment. We are becoming more connected with machines and less connected with experiences common to the moment: personal conversation, a touch on your shoulder, the scent of another’s breath.

When we are actually in the close proximity of another person, it’s strange, it’s uncomfortable, it’s very 1960′s.

Before you read on, visit here, and play this song.

Next time you come face to face with an “Awkward Spacer,” don’t move away. If for one 90 minute yoga class a fellow human being is closer to you than your Blackberry, it won’t hurt. In a time when we are needing to do so much with so little, are we forgetting a technology much more powerful than 3G or A.I.M. or S.M.S. or E.D.G.E.? It’s called L.O.V.E.