It was only a matter of time and that time has come.
Like a movie critic, there is now a Yoga Critic who is panning the yoga classes she doesn’t like and championing the ones she does.
Yoga teachers: become famous enough and it won’t be long before you might be subjected to The Yoga Critic’s verbal beatdown.
Here are some of her reviews, of course leaving out the yoga teachers’ names.
- ______ ________ is the Titanic of yoga teachers. Just as the hubris of headstrong shipbuilders who insisted that the Titanic was unsinkable led to an unparalleled maritime disaster, so ____ _______’s overweening pride makes you feel like you’re on a capsizing ship from the first words that come out of his mouth to the final “Namaste” 90 impossibly long minutes later.
- All of 97 pounds, _____ _______’s screechy voice and tedious sequencing made me wistful for a shot of Demerol and a colonoscopy. Actually forget the Demerol.
- __ _____ teaches a masterful yoga class that stirs within her students a monumental battle between an imperturbable layman and the King who seeks power. There is no denying that all students leave bequeathed as Royalty.
- The sheer stench of ___ ____ as he lay on my back during Paschimottanasana sent me running to the toilette causing an all-orafice eruption the likes of which I have not experienced since eating street meat in Jaipur.
- Impressively sequenced with a precise tempo and profoundly articulate voice, ___ _____’s class is an engaging affair that packs a powerful physical, emotional, and spiritual punch.
- I couldn’t even begin to focus on the yoga while pondering the grime in ___ ____’s beard.
- Thank God for the chocolate because the yoga in ____ _______’s class made me feel like a lobotomized rodent with my scrotum trapped on a hamster wheel.
*****
I know what you must be thinking and I agree.
She writes really well.
And y’know, before everyone in the yoga world freaks out about this, I think it’s a good thing. Let me tell you why.
I recently read that a person who spends all their energy and attention trying to win the good favor of someone who doesn’t like her, is like a person who goes to picnic at a beautiful park and sits down right next the single piece of dog shit in an otherwise wide open grass field.
Point being…Criticism is as good or as bad as we allow it to be.
A harsh critic in our midst is good for the yoga world.
Why should yoga teachers be any different than actors or writers? It’s a creative act subject to review and opinion.
Critique keeps yoga teachers on their toes and reinventing their game.
We’ve all been to that teacher’s class who refuses to change their sequencing (might be me). Nothing like a good ol’ fashioned panning in the paper to pump a little creativity into your 6pm Flow.
We’ve all been to that teacher’s class who hasn’t changed their music playlist since 2007. Nothing like “a beatdown in the Bulletin” to send that teacher running to iTunes.
We’ve all been to that teacher’s class who gets a little too frisky with their hands. You better believe the abovementioned reviewer had something to say… “Such were ___ ____’s adjustments, I felt like a hooker rather than a yoga student at a quiet Friday Deep Stretch.”
Critiques, challenges, feedback are healthy.
It’s the individual’s responsibility to know how much criticism he can handle, how it can help him grow, and when to get up and walk away.
To ignore or suppress an open forum for feedback and criticism leads to weakness, laziness, and lack of character.
And God knows, character far exceeds any other human quality.
As Emerson said, “Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.”
I agree that constructive criticism is healthy. And, when presented in a positive light, is very useful. Sounds to me that this “critic” needs massive amounts of yoga to tame her ego and let go of judgement. Then again, she probably needs alot more than Yoga to get over herself and her bitchiness.
chocolate? i wonder if it’s…
This must be Happebing in la
I think as a yoga teacher this is hillarious
Being in fitness for 25 years & a yoga teacher for
12 years I am not surprised !! Opinions are like assholes
Everyone has one !
so i have said this before, if yoga teachers are like actors ,is it time for agents ? Just wondering-i agree that feedback, criticism is always good, of course it is based on one individual, so it is just a limited perspective, but still Iyengar says ” yoga is the poise of the soul to look at all aspects of life evenly ” -thank you as always for bringing so much awareness-
So, which of these colorful reviews pertained to you?
I’m thinkin it’s a guy dude…… I mean scrotum attached to a hamster wheel. Yep. Definitely a guy. Also, pretty angry one at that. Where’s the love?!
xx
Nancy
I don’t know, they tell me It’s really not my business what somone thinks about me.” Live and let live.” Boy does that take work!!!
There’s a difference between critique, challenge and feedback, all of which can be constructive, and gratuitous sarcasm, which really can’t (especially when the attempt at humor, as in the Yoga Critic’s case, fails). I do applaud your willingness to accept criticism of your classes – not all teachers do!
Hah! Ok, some of the criticism do seem a little harsh at first, but you know… I have totally be in classes that made me want to scream, run out, and write angry letters to whomever is in charge of the quality of yoga classes around the world. So, yeah, we need this.
Question: How would “she” know what a lobotomized rodent with its scrotum trapped on a hamster wheel feels like?
I’m all for criticism – have been known to indulge, myself – but I’m not feeling that this is a very good critic. Clever? Yes. Informative? Mmmmm not so much from these clips.
Where is the link? Sounds like a fun site to visit.
I love love love this post! definitely sharing it…. thanks for the humor, the wit and damn straight I wanna know the site for these quotes b/c it’s hilarious! I appreciate your approach so much and the honesty with which you take any and all criticism. Made me smile, thanks!!