I love to eat (that’s the Italian in me) but am embarrassed to say that I barely know how to cook & let alone bake. So when my good friend Lilian said I HAD to try this nectarine tart I knew the only way that would happen is if she made it for me. She [...]
Tag Archives | livin’ the moment
People Who French Kiss Their Dog
My conversation with Sally was interrupted when the host of the party’s little dog ran by. Sally kneeled down and picked up the dog. Let’s just say Sally really loves dogs. I don’t mean “get down, tickle their ears, and scratch their belly” loves dogs. I mean “rub their ears, scratch their belly, tickle their [...]
Top 10 Worst Things a Dude Can Say, Bring, or Do When Watching Football with Other Dudes
10. Bring a dog that poops and pees all over the house 9. Bring wine coolers 8. Bring a friend that nobody knows yet roots for the other team…and talks too much 7. Say “Anyone wanna split a salad?” 6. Refer to “uniforms” as “outfits” 5. Hang out in “the other room” and talk about [...]
Great Leader Kim Jong-il
I have a very strange fascination with North Korea’s Great Leader Kim Jong-il whose people die of starvation while he’s surfing the web for designer shades, gourmet food, and the finest cognac. Following are some of Kim Jong-il’s fetishes all of which are from reputable sources across the internet: –Kim Jong-il insists that his rice [...]
My Yoga Retreat to North Korea
Following on the heels of yesterday’s exciting release of prisoners in North Korea, I wanted to recap an upcoming wetreat. You may have read about this in the past… For some, danger is a thrill that beats even the biggest buzz. For others, danger causes angst, fear, and an excessive need to pee. Danger is [...]
Top 10 Things I’d Ask the Pope If I Got to Meet Him
10. Do you believe in aliens? 9. Wanna see my eka pada bakasana? (see above photo) 8. Do I have food in my teeth? 7. If I tell you the Wide-Mouth River Frog joke in English, will you tell it back to me in Vatical? 6. Can you help me get an upgrade on the [...]
3 Reasons Why Learning To Cook Can Save Your Humanity
I just don’t get it. My girlfriend is so hooked on the cooking shows and watches them as if they were huge events. Top Chef, Chopped, Next Food Network Star, 30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray, etc, etc. I find them so boring, and every night I take a stand trying to watch sports games, [...]
Top 10 Pick-Up Lines To Use on Your Yoga Teacher
10. Do I look good in pink? 9. That was me that grabbed your ass during Trance Dance. 8. Kiss me now or I’ll tell your wife about that dirty adjustment. 7. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize these yoga pants were see-through. 6. I’ll be in the back giving myself a private. 5. It’s [...]
The Top 10 Questions I’d Have For A Vampire (If Ever Got To Meet One…)
10. Would you even drink the blood of my buddy Bruce McElvoy who is a dirty drunk stoner that smells terrible? 9. Does the blood of people of different nations resemble the cuisine of those nations? 8. Do vampires need the occasional colonoscopy? 7. If I checked your mulabandha, would your fangs pop out? 6. [...]
Ass Touchers
Ass Touchers. We all know one, maybe two, definitely not three. The other day I hugged one of my students goodbye, and she proceeded to pat me on the ass. I was 10% aroused, 50% annoyed, 14% disgusted, 16% harassed, and 10% wishing she was under 72. While patting me on the ass, she said, [...]
