Welcome to My A–hole

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We are witnessing a stunning proliferation of technology.

There are over 500,000 apps in the App Store and over 300 new apps being released per day…

That’s why I’m starting a blog called “Welcome to My Apphole.” Who better than me to guide you into the black hole of apps?!

Following are some of my best ideas for apps:

1. MisterSaggyNips

This app will show what type of breasts a man would have…if he were a woman.

2. DarthGaydar (my brother’s idea)

Scan your friends with your smart phone and the app will say in Darth Vader’s voice:  “Gay” or “Not Gay”

3. OyMama

Like a Jewish mother, this app will tell you exactly what to say in order to make someone feel shameful and guilty.

4. BocaBlaster

Fart into your smartphone and this app determines the translation of your fart in English, Cantonese, or Lemerig.

5. JerseyVooDoo

Speak into the phone and this app will give your voice an instant Jersey accent.

*****

Each day, technology erodes our sanctity with a devil-like efficiency.

Can you spell c-r-i-s-o-s? (Obviously I can’t)

Following are depressing stats from the recently published book iDisorder by Dr. Larry Rosen, discussing the very real possibility that all these new personal gadgets may be making some of us mentally ill.

-70 percent of those who report heavily using mobile devices experience “phantom vibration syndrome,” which is what happens when your pocket buzzes and there’s no phone in your pocket.

-The latest research is showing that constantly checking our wireless mobile devices can cause or exacerbate obsessive-compulsive disorder.

-According to The Telegraph, withdrawal symptoms experienced by young people deprived of gadgets and technology is compared to those felt by drug addicts or smokers going ‘cold turkey.’

Time for a Break

If you, like me, use your smartphone for everything from an iPod to iPoo, it might be time to consider it’s impact on your Power.

Let’s think back to the last scene of the very first Star Wars movie…when Obi Wan Kanobe commands Luke Skywalker, “Use the Force Luke.”

Luke proceeds to shut down his high tech instruments and rely solely on his natural instincts.

As Star Wars creator George Lucas has often acknowledged, “The Force” is very much The Tao, which reads:

The Tao is like a bellows…
it is empty yet infinitely capable.
The more you use it, the more it produces;
The more you talk of it, the less you understand.

Both The Force and The Tao are rooted in things other than technology…things like feeling, sensory perception, intuition, instinct.

Use YOUR Force

So let us be weary of giving the Tech Titans (and our smart phones) complete control of our lives.

As writer Henry Miller said, “Nothing is great enough or wise enough for any of us to surrender our destiny to. The only way in which anyone can lead us…is to restore to us the belief in our own guidance.”

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