A Peeping Tom was seen hiding in a Porta Potty at last week’s yoga-themed Hanuman Festival in Boulder, Colorado.
Just so you don’t think I’m making this up, following is the story excerpted from First Coast news:
“A woman told police she went inside the port-a-potty and was shocked after lifting up the toilet seat.
“She could see something moving in the tank. Worried someone was hiding inside, she asked a man outside the restroom to check it out.
“Sure enough , when he went in, he found a man in the tank covered in the tarp.
“Security waited for the suspect to come out. When he did, he was covered in waste. He ran and nobody grabbed him.”
I’m embarrassed to say, being that the yoga community is a tight circle, I know the man who did this, a former student of mine who assisted me in class for a few months way back in 2004.
He’s on the loose and I had the chance to speak with him last week when he called trying to get his Yoga Alliance 200 Hour Certificate Teacher Training certificate.
Peeping Tom (PT): Yeah Dave, I’m on the run, the cops are after me, just send me that certificate.
ME: Why are the cops after you?
PT: I took a shit shower in the Porta Potty.
ME: What? What’s a tit shower and who’s Porter Hotty?
My hearing has taken a turn for the worse since sitting in the 4th row at the Phish concert this past New Years Day.
PT: I said SHIT SHOWER in the Porta Potty!!
I had the phone on speaker and those within ear shot at the Soho House looked at me as if I was a naked transvestite midget eating a chocolate bar…which is to say they were disgusted with a slight hint of allure.
ME: What? What? Why did you do that?? Who does that?!
PT: Yeah Dave in your email last week, the one about the Summer Solstice, you told us to try different things and I figured in the history of the world, nobody had ever, ever, ever hung out in a Porta Potty.
ME: Actually, you do have a point. But still…you need to turn yourself in to the police.
PT: But Yeah Dave, I was being creative and different like you said.
ME: Stop calling me Yeah Dave, you don’t know me well enough to call me that.
PT: But, but, but…
I hung up, and looked down at the ground, seriously reconsidering my career path. After all, my advice had inspired not a leader, or an altruist, or a yoga teacher, but a Disgusting, Mentally Insane Peeping Tom.
*****
One can only take so much advice before they need to carefully determine what’s right for them.
In today’s world, with all the apps, websites, radio & TV channels, and other means of consuming advice and information, one could easily create a lethal combo of info in much the way a crackhead stumbles upon a lethal combo of pills.
For instance, consider the following lethal combo of ideas that was concocted by internet crackheads:
–Health Benefits of Nudism + Too Many Dating Websites = Meet Your Lover Streaking at Sporting Events (see photo)
It’s almost as bad as:
–The Schtick + Germs are Good for You = Hang in a Porta Potty
Y’see ?! It’s craziness!
*****
This is not to say give up your machines and return to the Stone Age otherwise known as the 1990’s.
But if you’re trying to make an important decision, wait before you Ask Jeeves, or do a Google search, or shake down your Facebook posse.
Instead, seek advice from a source that surely Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg would attest is far greater than even the most advanced technology…
…your instincts, your gut, your soul.
Emerson said it so beautifully, “As the traveler who has lost her way, throws her reins on her horse’s neck, and trusts to the instincts of the animal, so must we do with the divine animal who carries us through this world.”
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